


Half-brother

by herilaveur



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:20:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23703760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herilaveur/pseuds/herilaveur
Summary: January 2019, in a parallel universe... Yann's half-brother moves in with him after being kicked out of high school...And Yann really hates his half-brother, Eliott!He hates him so much that he's always kept him away from his best friend.But when Lucas falls in love with Eliott, does he really have to choose between his best friend and the one in his heart?
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 77
Kudos: 197





	1. Discoveries

''Fuck, man, I swear, my life is turning into a nightmare. I wish I could fucking live in a roommate like you, Lulu."

Lucas takes a breath before he looks up at his best friend. He wants to yell : _''Yann, are you serious? "Don't you think I'd rather live with a parent who loves and cares about me?''_

But fortunately, Basile speaks before him.

''Wait a minute. Call me back, already. Why don't you want to live at home anymore?"

Yann sighs as he puts his hands back in the pockets of his sweater.

''Fucking Baz, I've been talking about this for months. You know I was adopted when I was four years old. Well, before that, my dad had another girlfriend and together they had a son. Eliott. And he hates me. He's always hated me. And he's completely crazy, he got kicked out of his high school in Lyon and my dad got him accepted here so he's coming home to live with me until the end of the school year.''

Lucas grimaced when Yann talked about his half-brother's so-called madness. Why the fuck is Yann only his friend? Sometimes he asks himself that. But he remembers that Yann is just super angry and doesn't pay attention to Lucas and what could hurt him.

And Lucas knows how much Yann hates his half-brother. Even though they're only 3 years apart, they have absolutely nothing in common. He knows that Yann has always hated that his father left to see him and that he was happy that Eliott never wanted to come to Paris. Never until now.   
Lucas has been Yann's best friend for 6 years and he's never met him. And the way Yann talks about it, he's in no hurry to meet him anyway. 

''Don't you realize, my life is getting too shitty.'' Yann complains.

Arthur smiles like a tooth puller and puts his arm around his friend's neck.

''Yann...you're 17, you've only been with one girl, you've barely got a grade point average in at least 3 subjects and the school starts again in 3 days...so let me tell you something: your life is already shitty.''

Yann's bitching at Arthur.

''And I have shitty friends. Thanks for the pep talk."

Lucas watches him leave the square, grumbling, looks at Arthur then Basile who frowns then grabs his bag on the ground and runs to join Yann.

''Come on Bro, he was laughing. But don't worry, you're making a mountain out of a molehill for nothing. I'm sure he'll be so discreet you won't even notice his presence."

Yann nods with a smile and throws his arm around Lucas' shoulders.

''Thank God you're here, Lulu. You really are my best friend."

And Lucas can't help but think that last year his heart would've started beating a bit faster because of Yann's touch. But that's all over now.

Anyway, since Lucas went out with his friends, during the New Year's Eve party last week because they couldn't understand why he wouldn't accept a second's advances. And now, Basile and Arthur are desperate to help him find a guy.

And even though his friends have good intentions, Lucas doesn't want them to interfere with his dating. 

*****

Like most Saturdays, Lucas gets up at noon and swallows a coffee while Mika walks half-naked through the kitchen with his latest hookup.   
Then after taking a shower and doing his homework, Lucas goes straight to Yann's house where he enters directly through his best friend's window. 

Even when he lived with his mother, he was already coming in through the window. It's really easy since Yann's room is the only one on the ground floor. Summer and winter alike, Yann's window is unlocked on Saturdays from 1pm. That's also why he's Lucas' best friend. 

So he slips out the window, sits on Yann's bed and plays on his phone while he waits for Yann to finish his lunch. 

He's only been there for 5 minutes when the door opens and Yann dives into bed to lie down next to Lucas with a sigh.

''He's only been here since yesterday and I already feel like killing him.'' 

He turns to Lucas to show him how serious he is.

"I swear, I'll kill him!''

Lucas is about to respond when the music hits above their heads. 

"Wait?" Lucas asks, trying not to laugh. "Is he a dubstep fan?''

As an answer, the walls begin to shake slightly and are punctuated by the jumps Eliott has to make at the same time as the bass.

''Holy shit, Bro. I feel sorry for you." Lucas laughs as he gets out of bed. "Let's get out of here."

Yann nods his head and the two boys laugh their way out the window. 

They spend the afternoon at the skate park until Yann's phone rings. Lucas frowns while his best friend ignores the call. And of course, Lucas' phone rings right afterwards.

''Yes Maria. We're at the skate park. Uh... as usual. Yeah, I know. No, I'm not a vampire. I don't think vampires can get in through windows anyway. All right, we're on our way."

He puts the phone back in his pocket and frowns again.

''Your mother thought you were in your room, which you're not. So we have to go. I mean, you have to go home. I live at my flat, so there's no maternal anger for me."

Yann smiles like a tooth puller.

"Your bag, and the keys to your flat are in my room, Lulu. A bit of maternal anger will do you good."

Lucas sighs as they head back to Yann's house. 

Yann, like the best friend he is, pushes Lucas so he gets home first. 

"Bastard" whispers Lucas as he stands in front of Maria.

Lucas runs his hand through his hair when he greets her. Maria is a bit smaller than Lucas, and her skin is as white as Yann's is black. She puts a strand of her brown hair back behind her ear and looks exactly the same sarcastic as her son.

''Lucas. Glad to know you know how to use a front door, too."

''Yeah. But the high jump counts towards my year-end exams, so I gotta keep practicing a little bit."

She pushes a little exasperated sigh but smiles.

''How's your mom?''

Lucas is smiling. Maria asks him every time. And not just to be polite. Because she really cares.

''It's okay. I went to see her yesterday. She's fine."

Yann slaps his arm.

"Hey, why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you're a lousy friend" Maria says. "I thought I raised you better than that, son."

Lucas looks at Yann uncomfortable.

"No, it's me. I don't like talking about my mother. Okay, I'll get my bag."

''Yeah, we're going out tonight. I'm sleeping at Lucas's." says Yann.

Lucas isn't even surprised. He knows he's a cover for his best friend every time he wants to go to Emma's.

''Wait.'' stops him Maria ''I'm working at the hospital tonight, and Remi won't be home until 10pm. Yann, can you stay so Eliott isn't home alone?"

"What?" Yann grumbles, "Are you kidding me? He's 19, Mum!"

"I know, but he just arrived. Please... I don't want him to be alone. It's hard for him, you know. Besides, if you had to sleep over at Lucas' house, he can sleep over here. It doesn't change anything for you.''

Yann is about to bitch again but looks at Lucas then nods his head.

''Ok, he won't stay alone.''

*****

"I'm telling you one last time, it's No, Yann. I'm certainly not gonna babysit for your half-brother."

Yann begs Lucas one more time.

''Please. Emma will kill me if I cancel. We had a hard time getting back together after... you know, after all our problems."

Lucas nods his head. Of course he knows. He's the one who screwed up. And even though it's cool with him and Emma now, Lucas still has that guilty conscience.

''Come on, Lulu. You just have to spend the night in my room. You don't even have to see him. He's not coming out of his room anyway. And I'll buy you a pizza."

Lucas pretends to think about it, but he knows he'll go for it in the end.

''Let me lend you my virtual reality helmet for a weekend.''

''A week,'' Lucas adds.

"Deal."

"Deal."

Lucas barely has time to hit a high five before Yann pulls his phone out of his pocket.

''It's Emma. I've got to be at her house in 45 minutes, her parents are gone for the weekend."

''Wait? You're not coming home all night?"

''I hope not'' says Yann, wiggling his eyebrows significantly before showing his bed. ''But you can sleep here if you don't want to leave when my dad gets back. Remember the rules?"

Lucas explodes with laughter at his friend's serious face.

''Not naked. Nothing sexual. No guys."

"Nothing in my bed." reminds Yann.

"And on your desk? You never know, if a handsome guy jumps out the window and can't resist my charm?"

Yann pushes Lucas, who falls flat on the bed. 

"Idiot... your name's not Priam, as far as I know."

Lucas looks up to the sky. Yann offered "Georges, the world and me" for the secret Santa Claus organised by Basile between the 4 boys. That's what made Lucas go out to his friends on New Year's Eve. Because after reading the story of Priam, a teenager who realizes that he loves another boy but claims not to be gay, Lucas was sure that Yann understood that he likes guys. And his gift probably meant he approved. At least that's what Lucas thought, and he was right. 

Lucas looks at Yann who's stuffing clothes in his bag and takes the opportunity to send a message to Mika to warn him that he won't be back tonight. 

*****

Yann hasn't even left for 5 minutes and Lucas already regrets having said yes. 

This fucking music isn't even real music. Lucas was going to take advantage of the "young-adult-babysitting" evening to do his homework thanks to Yann's notebooks and books but even with his headphones, he hears all the bass and it's just impossible to concentrate. 

He looks at the Pizza ordering application. There's at least something good tonight, his pizza will be here in 15 minutes. 

So he spends the next 15 minutes rereading a math problem at least 10 times and cursing the inventor of dubstep. 

When the doorbell rings, he breathes a sigh of relief and almost runs out of Yann's room. He hasn't eaten anything since noon yesterday and he's really hungry now.

''Good evening, a pineapple pizza with extra chorizo and emmental cheese.'' announces the delivery man.

Lucas raises his eyes to heaven with a sigh of frustration. Of course, nothing good can happen tonight. He has to get a terrible pizza instead of his favorite.

''No. There's been a mistake. I was expecting a six-cheese.''

So the guy takes his coupon and then checks the name on the doorbell.

"Cazas? Hawaiian with extra chorizo and Emmental. It's yours.''

And that's when Lucas feels all his patience evaporate in one fell swoop.

''No. No way. You think I look like I'm gonna eat a pizza with pineapple and chorizo? But who can eat that, anyway? There shouldn't even be such a thing.''

"That's mine!''

Lucas is startled when he hears the voice behind him and turns around to find out... ...he must be in a fucking dream. 

It's definitely a fucking dream. In no universe could anything like this happen to him. 

Right behind him stands this absolutely perfect guy. Wet hair all over his head, a huge smile on his face, and eyes that smile so much they stretch like almonds. He's got a few drops beading on his chest where the muscles are just right...because he's just wearing a fucking towel wrapped around his hips. And Lucas' eyes stop on the tattoo he meets on his chest, struggling not to imagine what he's like under that towel. 

The guy reaches out and fringes Lucas to grab the pizza when a second delivery guy arrives.

''You live together and you're placing two orders?'' The delivery guy is surprised to see a second delivery guy pull up to the end of the driveway.

Lucas looks at them, but it seems his brain has lost the ability to form sentences.

''Yeah. I guess we should've consulted before ordering. I'm sorry. I'll get my wallet.''

''Wait'' finally Lucas' brain decided to turn itself back on. He pulls out Yann's credit card and says, "It's on your brother.''

Eliott nods and picks up Lucas' pizza while he's paying.

"Eliott?" asks the second delivery guy, "What are you doing here?"

And then Eliott looks at him again, and then he thinks and smiles.

''Mathias. Hey, Mathias. Uh, I live here, actually. I just moved here."

''Like, all the time now? Not just on holidays?"

"Yeah, like all year round." Said Eliott, backing away so he could close the door.

The first delivery guy has already left, but the second guy's holding the door.

''Hold on. We could see each other again, right? It was pretty cool last summer."

Eliott looks at Lucas and then the famous Mathias and puts his arm around Lucas.

''Sorry, I'm busy. And my boyfriends doesn't share, right, babe?"

The delivery guy looks at Lucas trying not to freak out.

''Yeah. Sorry. He's mine now."

''Okay. Sorry. Good night, you two lovebirds." says the delivery guy backing away.

''Thank you.'' Says Eliott as the door closes. ''Lucas? Are you okay?"

''Yeah. But how do you get to know the guys here when you've been here since yesterday?"

"I met him this summer. And then I've been coming here every holiday since... since forever, actually."

"What?" Lucas is frowning. Why would Yann lie to him? "Why haven't I seen you then?"

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and that brings down his towel a little around his waist. 

''I don't know. Yann talked about you a lot. And I think there are way more pictures of you here than there are of me. But Yann said you go to your dad's every holiday. Okay, good evening to you both. You'll thank Yann for the pizza even though I'm sure it wasn't his idea.''

"Actually I'm alone, Yann is at his girlfriend's tonight.''

Eliott turns around and smiles.

''Ok. I'll get dressed and we'll eat this over a movie in the living room?"

Lucas looks at him, hesitates, then thinks that it will always be better than eating alone on Yann's bed. Even if Yann won't be happy to know that he has fraternized with the enemy. But why did Yann lie to Lucas? Lucas understands that every time Yann told him that he was going on vacation with his family, in fact he stayed here but Eliott was there. And Lucas just doesn't understand why Yann didn't want them to meet. 

''Lucas? You interested?''

Lucas shakes his head to chase away his thoughts and smiles at Eliott's worried expression.

''Yeah. On one condition.''

"Anything you want, babe.''

''Okay. Two conditions.''

Eliott raises one eyebrow and Lucas thinks he's gonna have to see if he can do something like this.

''Stop turning your fucking music up. It's driving me crazy.''

''Okay. More when I know you're in the house. And?''

"Don't ever call me babe again.''

Eliott steps on the stairs going up to the first floor and then turns around and smiles.

"Okay, princess.''

The growl from Lucas' throat surprises him. He hesitates to take his pizza and locks himself in Yann's room but instead, he sits on the sofa and turns on the TV in the living room.

Lucas yells out towards the stairs: ''There's Fast&Furious tonight, you want?''

But Eliott's right behind him. He's now wearing black skinny jeans with holes in both knees and a hoodie.

''What? No way. You couldn't find a more stereotypical movie than that? Testetosterone and cars and girls? Really? Do you like it?"

Lucas watches it with amusement. 

"No. Not really."

''Okay. I pick the movie." declares Eliott taking the remote control.

''Hey. No. I pick. I'm the guest." Lucas says as he takes it back.

''I have to live away from my mother.'' says Eliott with puppy dog eyes as he takes the remote back.

Lucas looks him in the eye and puts his hand on what they're arguing about.

''My dad took off two years ago, leaving me alone with my mom. And for the last six months, I've been living with two roommates because I couldn't stay with my mom. I'm winning."

Eliott won't let go of the remote and shakes his head.

''I spent two weeks in a mental hospital. I'm winning. Totally."

Lucas recover from the couch suddenly angry.

''What do you think? You're the only one with problems? I spent a month there after my mother was committed."

Lucas drops the remote and puts his hands over his mouth.

''Oh, my God. Don't tell anybody. No one knows."

"What?" Eliott is surprised. "Not even Yann?"

"He thinks I was at my grandfather's house. Don't ever talk about that. To no one."

Eliott nods gently and raises the remote control between the two of them.

''Okay. I'm starting at my new school on Monday, six months before graduation. And I only have a grade point average in five subjects. And I can't miss my school leaving exams a second time."

Lucas is smiling and inside he's thanking eliott for changing the subject.

"Okay. You win."

''Good. So, what do you wanna watch?"

Lucas throws a pillow in his face, getting the most beautiful laugh he's ever heard.

*****

''Do you always have such strange taste in food?'' 

Eliott looks at his slice of pizza and then Lucas with amazement.

''What? It's so good. If you haven't tried it, you can't judge it. I don't judge the awful horror of cheese coming out of yours. Here, taste it."

And he hands over the slice that he just bit off. Lucas hesitates, then takes a bite. And it's really fucking disgusting. 

He forces himself to swallow but can't swallow and spits it out in a towel.

''But it's disgusting!''

''No. Surprising.''

Lucas shakes his head as he empties his coca-cola glass.

"No. No. Disgusting. Surprising is like, _''Oh, this is weird, but it's good...''_ and that it's like, _''What the hell is this? OMG, what is that thing? Who can eat this? Whose idea was it to put this on earth?"_

"I can," laughs Eliott before he finishes his slice and watches the movie again.

With the credits barely started, Eliott turns to Lucas...

''What the fuck kind of movie is this? I can't decide if the guy's the biggest asshole on earth or if it's a beautiful love story... And do you think they're dead or not? What's the movie? But why did you make me watch it, Lucas? It was...surprising. Yeah. Surprising. I like it."

Lucas bursts out laughing but says nothing and grabs his coke.

''Well'' Eliott goes, ''You didn't tell me, but why are you hanging out here tonight? Not that I mind. Contrariwise. But I'm just wondering."

''I'm young-adult-babysitting so my best friend can have a good time with his girlfriend.'' Lucas laughs.

Eliott loses his smile and his face closes immediately.

''Wait a minute. Are you checking up on me? Like, really?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders.

''Not really. Maria didn't want you to be home alone, but Yann had to go out with his girlfriend. I just thought I'd take advantage of his room and the pizza he gave me. But watching _Passengers_ with you and seeing your reactions was cool."

Eliott sits on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest, looking sulky.

''Damn, man, you know I'm older than you, you know? Three years older."

''Hey, don't call me man. Yeah, I know that. I can't help it if Maria's worried. But if you prefer, I can lock myself in Yann's room until your dad gets home."

Eliott's face relaxes and he turns to Lucas with half a smile.

"I never said that. It just sucks not to be considered an adult."

Lucas shrugs his shoulders.

''You know, even though it sucks sometimes, it's cool to have people who care about you."

And Eliott looks at him, and his smile turns to sorry.

''Sorry. You're right.'' Eliott says softly as he hands him the remote.

Lucas grabs it with a smile.

''Okay. What do you wanna watch?"

Lucas ducks down just in time not to get the pillow Eliott threw at him.

*****

  
It's the sound of a slamming door that wakes him up.

"So, gorgeous, how'd you sleep?"

Lucas opens his eyes in one fell swoop and stands up. It doesn't take him long to realise that he's fallen asleep halfway through the film and literally laid down on top of Eliott. 

''Shit. I'm sorry."

''Hey. I never said I minded being your pillow, sleeping beauty."

Lucas runs his hand through his hair before he turns to look at the time. 11.05 pm. He didn't get that much sleep. 

''Well, I'm sorry anyway. I'm..."

Eliott gently grabs his chin to force him to look at it.

''I said it's okay, Lucas. Really''

Lucas swallows. Eliott's eyes are so bright, he could spend hours getting lost in them. Eliott's eyes go all the way down to Lucas' lips, and Lucas realises it only takes a few inches to kiss him.

''Boys, I'm home."

Lucas is startled when he hears Remi's voice. He jumps off the couch and away from Eliott just before he enters the living room.

Lucas smiles while looking at Remi. It's like an adult Eliott. The resemblance is really impressive now that they are both in the living room. Even though Remi has short hair, they really have the same facial features. A lot more than Lucas looks like his father. But he doesn't mind that at all. 

''Oh, hey, Lucas, I didn't think you were here. Where's Yann?"

''He's sleeping at Arthur's. I stayed to keep Eliott company. Maria didn't want him to be alone waiting for you. Now, I'm going home."

"Don't be silly, Lucas, you can sleep here. Sleep here. You know very well you belong here."

"Right. I'll go to bed then. Good night, Remi. Good night, Eliott.''

So Eliott gets up from the couch and walks past Lucas just in time to whisper in his ear.

"Good night, princess.''

*****

00h56

And of course Lucas hasn't been able to sleep yet. He just can't sleep. He can't stop thinking about Eliott sleeping upstairs. 

Were they really going to kiss? Is that really what was gonna happen? No. Lucas is sure as hell not. How could a guy like Eliott be interested in a 17-year-old kid? They're way out of the same league. We need to get Lucas to calm his fucking brain. Anyway, Eliott is Yann's half-brother, so he's untouchable. It's an unspoken rule among friends: no touching the family. And then Yann would lose it. He hates Eliott so much. He'd hate him even more.

Lucas lets out a sigh of frustration and gets up to go get a glass of milk in the kitchen. The ground floor is pitch black. And Lucas hates it. He should've taken his phone so he could get a light. 

But he knows the house by heart, so he grope for find the kitchen light switch. And when he's about to flip it, one hand touches his and he starts screaming.

And without even thinking, Lucas pushes the figure next to him, who bumps his back against the worktop, moaning. 

''Shit, Lucas, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Lucas finds the light switch and turns it on, revealing Eliott in his boxers, rubbing his back in the middle of the kitchen.

''Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you.''

Eliott smiles as he crosses Lucas' eyes.

''I'm sure you could never hurt me, Lucas.''

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and looks up to the sky.

''OMG it's so nerd.'' 

And Eliott comes over and puts both hands on either side of Lucas.

''And it works?''

Lucas looks up again before he pushes one of Eliott's arms away from his grip.

''Like you want it to work on me.''

And then Eliott grabs his wrist to make it turn towards him.

''I do. Hell, yeah.''

Lucas closes his eyes and sighs. Fuck, he's Yann's half-brother. They hate each other. He can't do that to his best friend.

But Eliott's hand caresses Lucas' cheek tenderly.

''Lucas? Is everything okay?"

Lucas is startled for the second time when he hears Remi's voice. He's standing right behind them in the hallway leading to the kitchen. 

Eliott lets go of Lucas' wrist and immediately backs away.

''Yeah. Sorry. I didn't think I'd find anyone in the kitchen at this hour. I was just coming in to get a drink."

Lucas takes a glass, fills it with water and goes back to the bedroom. He's just long enough to hear Remi speak to Eliott before he closes the door. So discreetly, he leaves it open a little bit so he can listen.

''I wish you wouldn't walk around naked in the Eliott house. And don't touch a hair on Lucas' head, okay? He's family."

''I'm family too, Dad. I'm your son, by the way. And I would never hurt him. How could you think that of me? I may be crazy, but I've never hurt anyone."

''You forget yourself, son,'' says Remi in an ironic voice. 

Lucas hears Eliott grunting and then the stairs squeaking. Lucas is about to close the door when he hears Eliott's voice again.

''And I'm not naked. I'm in my boxers.''

He closes the door with a smile and lies down on the bed. And this time he falls right asleep.

Eliott would never hurt him.

*****

It's Yann who wakes him up when he gets home at 10 o'clock. And Lucas goes back to this flat without seeing Eliott again. 

On Monday, he sees him going into the school, his hooded sweatshirt on his head. Eliott looks at him and Lucas guesses a little smile on his lips but they don't greet each other.

And when Lucas looks at Yann, he realizes that he gives his half-brother a black look.

"Remind me again why you hate him?" Lucas asks, looking innocent.

"Don't tell me he converted you?" Yann starts to get angry. "You spend a night at home and you defend him."

"What? I'm not defending anyone."

''Okay. That's right. Okay. I'm sorry. Anyway, he said he hadn't seen you all night. See, I told you you wouldn't even see him. Weren't you too bored by yourself?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders.

''No no, I've been watching movies. It was nice to have a quiet house."

''Okay. Great. Thanks again. And as a thank you, we're having game night on Friday? Just the two of us?"

"Yeah, all right."

''My parents are going away for the weekend. Eliott's probably gonna be in his room the whole time. It's gonna be cool."

"Cool."


	2. Attractiveness

When Lucas enters his last class of the day, the chemistry teacher tells him that he has to go to the secretary's office before leaving school. 

Lucas spends the whole class worrying about this request. And Imane spends the whole class elbowing him so that he can concentrate on the class. 

As soon as the bell rings, he almost runs to the secretariat. And when he gets on the doorstep, he hits Eliott head on. And fortunately for him, Eliott has more reflexes. And if Lucas doesn't fall on his ass, it's only because Eliott grabs him by the waist and holds him upright. 

''Sorry. I didn't see you.'' Lucas says softly as he gets back on his feet.

''I saw that.'' Eliott laughs. ''But I'm glad to see you.''

"Me too," whispered Lucas as he pushed open the secretarial door. 

He's not sure Eliott heard it, but when he turns around, Eliott's right behind him and smiles so much, Lucas knows he heard him. 

"Lucas, wait here for two seconds," says the secretary, "Eliott Demaury, I guess."

Eliott nods his head and Lucas frowns.

"I'll tell the director. Don't move."

Lucas turns to Eliott as soon as the secretary disappears from his office.

''Wait a minute. Why Demaury? Why not Cazas?"

Eliott raises his eyebrows twice and Lucas wonders what he can't do with his fucking eyebrows.

''Actually, it's Eliott Martin Julien Demaury-Cazas if you must know. I've only been using my mother's name for a while. And anyway, I know Yann doesn't want anyone to know we're related."

Lucas nods. It's true that apart from him and the guys, nobody knows they're half-brothers. They don't come together, they don't go together and they probably won't talk to each other in high school. Maybe never even outside of high school, either. 

''That's nice.'' Remarks Lucas.

''I'm a very nice guy when I want to be.'' says Eliott.

''Eliott. You can go," says the secretary, pointing to the principal's office.

Eliott enters the office and the secretary looks at Lucas with a sorry face.

''I'm sorry, Lucas. The account that we were taking the tuition from is no longer functioning. We tried to call your dad, but we can't get through to him. We need a new bank account."

Lucas feels the anxiety getting to him. His dad's already late every month helping him with his rent and now this.

''How long do I have?'' Lucas asks worriedly.

''Oh, don't worry, by the end of the week would be fine. But we're not going to kick you out, you know. Maybe he just changed banks and the account numbers have changed. Don't worry about it."

Lucas is nodding his head but it's too late, he's already worried. What if his dad decided to stop paying? What if he can't reach him either? How will he be able to keep paying Mika's rent? What about the canteen? What about the textbooks? Lucas can feel his breathing getting faster, but he can't help thinking the worst. 

He goes to the main courtyard bathroom and locks himself in the last stall. He takes out his headphones and puts on soft music to calm himself. He heard it works for some people during anxiety attacks.   
But this time it makes him even more angry. So he types dubstep on google and opens the first link. He navigates between the links and finds what he's looking for. The one Eliott listened to over and over again the other night.   
He closes his eyes and focuses on that sick music. And his breathing calms down. He wipes away the tears that he didn't think he'd find on his cheeks.

When he comes out of the bathroom, he keeps his headphones on and heads for his bus stop. The music is terrible, but at least when he listens to it, he can't think about anything.

When a hand rips one of the earphones out of his ear, he jumps. But that's just Eliott. Eliott leans over to find out what Lucas is listening to and starts laughing. 

''You have very good taste in music."

Lucas smiles and he feels a tear coming out of his eye. Eliott wipes it off with his thumb and looks worried.

''Are you all right?"

Lucas shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders.

''Do you see what I'm listening to? That's all it takes to show I'm not okay."

Eliott looks at him worried, then takes him by the hand and pulls him across the road running.

''Where are we going?'' Lucas asks as they reach the sidewalk across the street.

"Trust me."

*****

''How can you know this place when I've lived here forever and I don't know it?'' Lucas wonders.

Eliott smiles and shrugs his shoulders.

''I found him by chance this summer. I was tired of being at my father's house. Tired of being cooped up in my room. As soon as I came out, I ran into Yann, who reminded me how much he hates me. I got tired of fighting with him. So I went out for a walk. And one day I fell here."

Lucas looks around. They're in a forest in the middle of Paris. And they left the path and went to an abandoned bridge. The walls under the bridge are tagged. Eliott can't be the only one who knows about this place. 

''I come here when I feel like being alone.'' Explains Eliott.

Lucas looks at him and then scans Eliott's lair with his eyes.

''You know, now that you've shown me this, maybe I'll already be here when you come to be alone.''

''And maybe that's exactly what I'm trying to do.'' Eliott says with a raised eyebrow.

Lucas starts laughing out loud.

''I like to see you laugh. Are you feeling better?"

''Yeah. Something's wrong with my father. I'll fix it. And you? Principal's office on the first day?"

"Yeah. You know, normal warning, _"I've seen your file. We'll keep an eye on you. We won't accept any outbursts..."_ normal what. I'm used to it. This is my third high school. I was expecting this."

Lucas nods his head.

''Are you okay? Not too hard to start over?"

"Yes, it is. I miss my friends. I miss my mom. But it's my fault I'm in this situation, so I'm not gonna complain. And it allowed me to meet you."

Eliott's cell phone starts vibrating and Lucas is pretty happy about the interruption.

"Okay." And Eliott says two "okay." again and he puts it in his pocket when he gets up. 

''Sorry, gotta go. My dad wants me home for dinner. Family dinner... Yann's gonna kill me with his eyes the whole time.... great, I can't wait."

"Sorry about that."

"Hey, you had nothing to do with it. You don't have to come between us."

Lucas gets up, and they both silently make their way back to the path. He shouldn't be between the two of them, but Lucas feels like he's really starting to slide into the wrong place. He thinks back to Yann, to all the shit he did between him and Emma. All the damage he's already done to his. He must really be a best friend to him. 

Walking to his apartment after leaving Elliot, he came to one conclusion: He absolutely has to put some distance between himself and Eliott.

*****

On Tuesdays, Lucas grumbles because he couldn't reach his father. Before school starts, despite his resolutions of the day before, he can't help but discreetly look for Eliott. And he spots him in a corner of the yard writing in a notebook. Or maybe drawing, given the outline he seems to be doing.

"Shall we go, Lulu?"

Lucas jumps off the wall he was sitting on and follows Yann, Basile and Arthur to maths class. If he turns around just before entering the building and smiles at Eliott's gaze, nobody realizes it. Just him... and Eliott smiling at him. 

And Lucas's mood is a little improved.

And it gets even better when he opens his locker at noon, after English class, and discovers a small piece of paper folded inside. He stuffs it in his bag before one of his buddies notices it and goes to the toilet to read it quietly.

The edges of the paper are torn off and Lucas understands that it is a page that Eliott had to tear out of his notebook. He delicately unfolds the page and realizes that he is holding his breath.

Inside, a hedgehog and a badger are eating a pizza, and the badger...or is it a raccoon? Yeah, it's definitely a raccoon because it's wearing a mask. The raccoon's pointing at the TV and there's a lot of question marks over his head. Lucas can't stop giggling when he looks at the drawing. 

Underneath, the caption makes him smile. But how does Eliott manage to remember a replica of this movie he has only seen once?

_Take a break from worrying about what you can't control..._

Lucas turns the paper over. On the back, Eliott wrote :

_That fucking movie was right about one thing at least. I love that philosophy! Thank you for that._

Lucas doesn't even realize he's not really eating lunch. He's too busy smiling stupidly when he thinks about the movie night and the drawing and then blaming himself every time he looks at his best friend. But why does the only boy he likes have to be Yann's worst enemy?

*****

"Lucas and Yann, that's enough."

Lucas is startled and pushes Yann away for the third time since philosophy class started. Yann wants to talk to him about his plans for the evening with Emma on Saturday. 

It's Wednesday, it's the last class of the morning and they don't have a class this afternoon, so Yann would have had plenty of time after the bell to talk about it. But no, he can't wait...

"Lucas, get your stuff, move out."

Lucas is growling. Shit, that wasn't even him talking. He grabs his stuff, his bag and his coat and heads for the place the teacher tells him to go: the secluded table at the back of the classroom. Yann sends him a sorry smile and Lucas shows him his middle finger before sitting down.  
At least he's now sitting by the window and he can distract himself by looking outside while the class continues. And he's lucky, today's show is really interesting. 

Eliott's class is in sport class and Lucas spots him right away. Eliott is wearing sweatpants and a black sweatshirt and he is walking up the court with the basketball. He throws the ball but misses the basket. Lucas continues to follow the part of his seat. Anyway he is in the last row of the class so the teacher doesn't take care of him.

When Eliott scores two baskets in a row, Lucas smiles. He quickly looks at his philosophy teacher and notes down the homework to be done and then looks at the seniors again. Eliott takes the ball again and goes back up the field. But just as he jumps to score, Alex hits it and Eliott finds himself lying on the ground.   
And Lucas finds himself standing behind his desk. He realizes he must have screamed because everyone is looking at him.

''Lucas, that's enough. You're leaving my class. 2 hours detention. You're going to the principal's office.''

Lucas isn't even trying to defend himself. He takes his stuff and leaves the room. He walks down the hall to the office and runs into Eliott and Alex.

"Hi, Lucas.''

Lucas looks at Alex who greets him and Lucas sends lightning bolts with his eyes.

"Hard day for you too, Lucas?" asks Alex surprised.

''Yeah. You could say that." Lucas grommets before turning to Eliott. "Are you okay?''

And Eliott shows him both hands covered in blood, but smiles.

''Yeah, it's no big deal. I just fell down.''

''He totally helped you fall,'' Lucas says, pointing at Alex.

''Hey,'' says Alex, moaning, ''I was playing defence. I was in the game. Sorry again, Eliott.''

''It's OK, don't worry about it. I've seen worse. But Lucas, how''

''Lucas Lallemant! In my office, now!"

The Director's voice startled all three of them. Shit, the teacher must have e-mailed the principal as soon as Lucas left the classroom. 

''School started three days ago and you've already had two hours detention this afternoon! In my office, now," barks the principal.

''See you later.'' Lucas says before he practically runs to the principal's office.

*****

Lucas just spent 10 minutes being lectured about his behavior and tried to explain why he yelled. And since he wouldn't tell the truth, he earned a third hour detention, to be done that very afternoon.

By the time he got out of the office, his friends had already gone home. They finished school. Lucas buys a sandwich and eats on a bench outside the school before going back to the principal's. 

''Well, Lucas, we've decided to give you detention. So instead of spending three hours yawning or writing an explanation for your behaviour, you're going to come in and sort through sports stuff."

The principal walks Lucas into the gym and opens the equipment shed. The balls are all mixed up. And if they had to be sorted by category in bags, the bags are piled in a corner of the room, under a pile of hoops.

''Have fun. Don't come see me when you're done."

Lucas watches him leave and looks at the shed and sighs. In the end, he might have preferred to write an explanation for his behavior. He kicks the ball in front of him. The ball runs across the room, avoiding all the obstacles on the floor as if by magic and hits a pile of studs that fall to the ground.

''Are you here to clean up or to make a bigger mess?''

Lucas is startled and turns to face Eliott, who smiles at him.

''Uh... clean up, I guess.''

"So shall we get started?" Eliott asks, rolling up his sleeves and sneaking into the shed. 

He puts down his phone and a Bluetooth speakerphone and plays dubstep.

"This is the worst detention I've ever had," Lucas laughs, putting his hands over his ears.

Eliott walks up to him and laughs by taking his hands out of his ears.

''Okay, let's each take turns picking a song, deal?''

Lucas is nodding his head, already thinking of the next song to hear.

"Deal."

Finally, when it's his turn, he puts on a good old ACDC, worthy of Eliott's questioning face.

''Well, highway to hell, isn't that appropriate?''

And Eliott laughs as he continues to pile on a new tower of red cone.

''If hell comes down to being locked in a closet with you, I'm gonna stop behaving good.''

''You're not behaving good, Eliott,'' Lucas points out, ''or you wouldn't be in detention your first week.''

"You didn't do much better" Eliott remarked with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey, it's your fault." Lucas moans. "Well, it's Alex's fault too."

Eliott places the handrail along a wall and joins Lucas in two strides.

''Wait. What? Why are you here?"

Lucas looks up, crosses his eyes and points to him.

''Because you are a go-getter in the field and can't play for an hour without getting on the pavement.''

''Were you looking at me?''

Lucas bends over to pick up the ball that's in front of him. 

''Maybe. And maybe I got up from my seat when you got hit and I yelled...and maybe the teacher thought that I just wanted to wreak havoc her class..."

Eliott giggles, picks up a ball and puts it in the net which Lucas holds open.

''That's a lot of maybe."

"Yeah."

''So do you consider this my fault?''

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''I didn't say that.''

After an hour, the shed's completely tidy. Eliott lies down on a treadmill in the middle of the gym and signals to Lucas to do the same.

''If you go to the principal's office now, he'll find other things to do. So you might as well make him think it took three hours to put that away."

Lucas lies on the carpet, laughing. He hadn't even thought of that. I'm sure Eliott's used to holding things back to think about it so naturally.

They spend five minutes staring at the ceiling before Lucas breaks the silence.

''Thanks for the drawing, it makes me feel better.''

''You're welcome, that's the way I wanted it. Did you manage to work things out with your father?''

Lucas sighs. 

"No. I can't reach him. Ever since he took off, I haven't been able to see him. And I don't usually hear from him at all. But right now, he's not paying for school. He's not paying my rent. And it's really important that we work things out."

Eliott's hand rests gently on Lucas' hand, which is on the carpet between the two of them.

''It's gonna be okay, Lucas. They're not gonna fire you, you know."

Lucas sighs.

''Yeah, I know. I'm just tired of having to deal with all of this. I just wish I had a normal life sometimes, you know. Be really unconscious like any 17-year-old guy. Have a normal family. Just live a normal life."

Eliott says nothing, so Lucas turns to the side, but Eliott looks totally absent. He suddenly gets up and walks to the gym door.

''I'm sorry, man, I gotta go.''

''Don't call me man'' reminds Lucas with a frown. ''What about detention? You can't just walk out the door, the principal will be all over you."

"I wasn't in detention," says Eliott before he opens the door and leaves. 

Lucas drops back on the mattress. If he wasn't in detention, why was he here? Oh... oh, shit. This is so fucked...

He doesn't even have time to really worry about the fact that Eliott wanted to spend his free time packing sports equipment just to be with him that he's already worried about Eliott running away. But why did he leave in such a hurry?

Lucas rethinks what he said. I'd like a normal family. Oh, shit. Did Eliott think he meant he didn't want to be with a guy? That he'd want to date girls like most guys? Because clearly, lucas didn't mean that.

*****

Lucas doesn't see Eliott on Thursdays. Not at all. And he clearly can't ask Yann if his half-brother is in high school because Yann gets more and more upset as soon as he hears about Eliott. 

Now half the girls are talking about Eliott. And it's a bit like the contest of the first one who gets to go out with him. There's even betting. And that really pisses Yann off. And it makes Lucas smile.

And he doesn't even have his phone number to ask him if he's okay. So as soon as he gets home from school, he locks himself in his room and turns on his computer.   
He looks him up on Facebook, even tries his other names, but it doesn't work. Insta either.

He ends up typing _Eliott Demaury Lyon_ in the search engine and he gets two things. 

The first is a link to a high school blog. A picture of Eliott appears immediately on the screen. He is sitting drawing, his back against a tree. Lucas scrolls through the article below.

_''December 11, 2018, all the students of Georges Sand High School thank Eliott Demaury for blowing up two classrooms. You saved us an extra week's vacation! Thanks, man!"_

Lucas blinks and rereads the article twice. But why would Eliott do this? He's mysterious, but he's so sweet and gentle. 

Lucas sighs and returns to the search engine to click on the second link. It's a link to an unrealized jackpot. He clicks on the explanatory video and Eliott appears on the screen, explaining his film project: Polaris. 

And Lucas immediately recognizes Eliott's secret bridge. And it relaxes him. He clicks on the instagram link and discovers that Eliott's account is blocked by a code. 

_To get into Polaris, find Cesar._

So he spends all night trying to decipher the fucking code. Mika worries and brings him a plate of tacos but Lucas doesn't even touch it, he's too busy trying to figure it out. 

And at 4:00 in the morning, he finds out Cesar's alphabet. He translates Polaris by _srodulv_.

And when Eliott's account opens, Lucas is happy. 

He did it!

And as a reward, he spends two hours looking at the drawings made by Eliott as well as quotes from virginia Wolf or different movies. The last publication is the citation from the movie Passengers.

And Lucas falls asleep with a smile on his face even though he knows that his alarm clock will ring one hour later.

*****

When Friday afternoon comes and he goes to the music room during his free time, he smiles because he knows he'll hear from Eliott tonight, since he's having a video game night with Yann. Even if he won't see Eliott directly, he'll hear his wild music. And if he can, he'll try to run into him. Just see him. That's it. Lucas just needs to see him.

Lucas sits on the piano bench. Since he chose the music option for his final exams., he's allowed to practice on his own time. It's better than spending an hour working out on a table. 

So Lucas puts his hands on the keyboard and plays. He starts by playing quietly, a few melodies he likes. Then he practices for the piece he has chosen for the exam. The one that reminds him most of his mother: _Rioppy's I love you_.  
  
Even though Lucas has a perfect command of it, he likes to play it. It's soft and slow and then it gets fiery and then it gets quiet again. And he likes that. He closes his eyes and it's like he's being transported. Like every note brings up his memories.

He sees his mother playing with him again when he was little. His mother reading a book to him. Treat to a knee injury. His mother dropping him off at school and kissing him with her hand. His mother hugging him every time he comes to see her, even though sometimes Lucas knows she doesn't want to be touched. He sees it all. Because for him, every little moment like that is a declaration of love. Every moment his mother says, "I love you''. He doesn't even have to concentrate on his notes. He plays by heart. It's as if his fingers are playing by themselves. 

And all of a sudden, he sees Eliott. Under the secret bridge. Eliott slipping a note into his locker. Eliott helping him with his detention. Eliott smiling at him. And Lucas's heart beats a little bit harder. Holy shit, he's fucked. He's falling in love with the one person that's forbidden to him. 

Lucas feels his breath quickening and jumps when he presses the wrong key. 

''It was beautiful."

Lucas jumps a second time and opens his eyes. He doesn't even have to turn around to know it's Eliott. 

''No,'' corrects Lucas, ''it wasn't. That was the wrong note."

Eliott comes and sits in the chair next to the piano and puts his right foot on his knee. 

''I didn't even hear him. But it's OK if it's a wrong note sometimes. You knew it was by making a mistake that the tarte tatin was invented."

Lucas smiles and nods.

''Yeah. I know. Everybody knows that."

''It's true.'' Eliott laughs. ''Well, you wanna show me how it looks without a blemish then?''

Lucas hesitates, looks at the time, then closes his eyes and plays.

When he reopens his eyes, Eliott's gone. And Lucas wonders if he wasn't dreaming. He runs his hand through his hair, shakes his head and closes the keyboard. He retrieves his bag. And there, he sees the little piece of paper sticking out of the little pocket of his bag. 

A piano keyboard is drawn, with the word _surprising_ written on the keys. 

Lucas sighs of relief, he has not dreamed.

*****

''Yann? I hope you're kidding me right now?"

Lucas looks at his best friend, and frankly, he just wants to rip his head off. He can't be serious. Yann's parents left 15 minutes ago. He and Lucas have only been playing for 5 minutes and they're already interrupted by Yann's cell phone.

''I'm sorry, Lucas. Emma's parents have decided to leave tonight and she's scared when she's home alone. She's waiting for me there. But we're having video game night tomorrow, I promise. She'll find a friend of hers to come over and keep her company tomorrow night."

Lucas gives Yann his darkest glance.

"You're a pain in the ass, Yann."

"Sorry. I swear, I'll make it up to you." promises Yann as he takes his bag. "I'll let you slam the door on your way out. You can stay and play for a while if you want."

Lucas sighs as he watches Yann leave. But what friend gives up his best friend to go out with his girlfriend? Well, okay, maybe every 17-year-old. But right now, it hurts inside Lucas. Why does everyone always end up leaving him alone? 

He's putting on the virtual reality helmet. He doesn't want to play alone. 

He grabs his bag, heads to the entrance to put his shoes on.

"You're leaving already?"

Lucas puts on his first shoe and stands up to face Eliott, who was obviously assembling a tray in his room.

''Yeah. Yann's gone to Emma's, so I'm just gonna go home."

Eliott looks up to the sky.

''Did your best friend just leave you high and dry to go to his girlfriend's?"

Lucas puts on his second shoe and grunts.

''Yeah. I know. This sucks."

Lucas is about to grab his coat when Eliott's voice stops him in his tracks.

''If you want to stay, we can make a movie. I'm sure you've got some more awfully twisted movies to do more damage to my brain."

Lucas doesn't even hesitate. He puts his hand down and takes off his shoes.

''Yeah. I've got this. But I'm sure your brain will be just fine."

''We need more food!'' Eliott announces as he goes back to the kitchen to fill his tray with everything and two beers.

Lucas watches him do it without saying a word. He is about to follow Eliott into the living room but Eliott goes up the stairs and enters his room whose door has been left open. He puts the tray on his bed and sits down. 

Lucas enters the room. And he doesn't even know where to look because it's a mess with no name. There are hundreds of drawings on the walls, concert posters and even some kind of big curtain up on the wall.

''It's a hanging,'' says Eliott, looking at it ''it's a souvenir from a trip to Morocco with my parents. I was 5 years old and it was the last trip before they split up because dad met Maria right afterwards.''

Lucas sits on the bed next to Eliott.

"It must hurt like hell to see them together, huh?"

And Eliott shakes his head.

''No. Not even. Maria's like my second mommy. I used to love to come over to their house when I was little. And then they adopted Yann. He was so shy when he came to France. But I really liked being a big brother. I used to tell everyone. He even came to Lyon to spend holidays with me at my mother's house. And then when I was 13, I got sick. Well, no, my illness broke out in reality. He must have told you about it."

Lucas shakes his head.

''No. Sorry. He barely talks about you, actually. And then he was, what, 10 years old at the time? So we didn't know each other. I knew him when he was 11 when he started middle school."

Eliott nods his head and he looks hurt.

''Anyway, Dad came to see me. A lot of times. It was hard for me for a couple of years. Now, even though, given the current situation, you can see that it's still hard. I think Yann was jealous of the attention I was getting. And since then, he's hated me."

Lucas thinks and shrugs his shoulders.

''I don't know. That's weird. He really doesn't talk about it. He always said you two never really got along, that you're too different. At the same time he also lied to me and said you never came here. Then I don't know."

Lucas is looking at Eliott out of the corner of his eye. He looks really sad right now. They really need to change the subject. Lucas grabs Eliott's computer. When the message asks for a password, Lucas types _Polaris_ and the error message appears. Then he types _srodulv_ and the screen unlocks. 

Eliott says nothing but a big smile appears on his face. The computer is still on Eliott's Netflix account and Lucas bursts out laughing.

''Wait a minute. Were you watching _The Kissing Booth_?"

So, Eliott grabs his computer and shrugs his shoulders.

''Yeah. It made me think of you."

Lucas looks up at the sky and grabs a chocolate doughnut off the tray. He bites down on it and turns to Eliott.

''Oh... so I guess you're the great Noah Flynn and I'm Rochelle?'' Lucas asks ironically.

''Who?'' asks Eliott, obviously lost.

"The girl. Elle.""

''Isn't that Ella? I'm pretty sure her name is Shella."

Lucas opens his mouth and widens his eyes as if Eliott had said something very stupid.

''Don't tell me you're watching this in VF? French voices are so lame on Netflix. Honestly, you should watch every movie on VO! You're really missing out."

Eliott chuckles and shrugs.

''So you want to watch it in VO? Or should we put something else on?"

Lucas is thinking fast. He loves this movie, even though he'd totally rather the book. But watching it next to Eliott is just too weird. And Eliott is right. It's too much like their situation.

So he grabs the computer and closes the Netflix page.

''No. You wanted a movie that destroys your brain... you're gonna get served!!!''

''Okay. But to answer your question, No, I don't see you as the girl, princess."

''Good to know'' said Lucas as he typed up his Internet search ''because I would never get behind you if you had a moto.''

Eliott starts laughing while Lucas shows him a poster for a movie.

"You've seen it?"

"Labyrinth? No."

"Then it's on."

Eliott grabs a piece of bread from the tray, the Nutella toast, puts ham on top, then a slice of Emmental cheese and closes his sandwich.

Lucas shakes his head and grabs a second doughnut before starting the film.

*****

''Holy shit'' Eliott yells, causing Lucas to laugh.

"Relax, baby, the big monster's gone."

Eliott reaches for his beer and jumps up again as the huge spider appears on the screen, chasing the boys. What he does is he spills all his beer all over his sweater.

''What the fuck kind of crazy movie is this?'' He growl as he takes off his sweater and throws it across the room without taking his eyes off the screen ''What the fuck are they in there for?''

Lucas laughs and gets out of bed.

''Where are you going?"

''To piss. And get two more beers."

Eliott stops the movie and gets up.

"I'm coming with you."

"Oh, I didn't think you were scared, baby."

And Lucas makes the _baby_ like he's calling him chicken. And Eliott sits down with his arms folded across his chest.

''I'm not scared, silly. I was gonna go with you to get the beers, but it's your loss. Go by yourself and get me one. Thanks, honey."

Lucas nods his head and smiles. 

It's not until Lucas is climbing the stairs that the idea pops into his head. Quietly, he comes to the door, puts the beers down in the hallway and jumps screaming into the middle of the room.

And Eliott jumps so much that he falls out of bed screaming before bursting out laughing.

Lucas goes back to get the beers and falls down on the bed laughing.

''Well? Not scared?"

"You're a pain in the ass."

"Admit you're scared."

"I'd never be afraid of you" laughs Eliott as he grabs the beer, "but don't ever do that again."

Lucas comes back, laughs, and never promises never to do that again.

*****

''What? Zombies? Are you kidding me?"

Lucas is watching Eliott getting pissed off all by himself next to him. 

''Zombies? Zombies? Really? That's what this is all about? Tell me there's a sequel. I can't just leave it at that."

Lucas raises his eyebrows and then laughs.

''It's a trilogy, baby! Get ready to get scared."

Eliott jokingly pulls the tray out of the middle of the bed so he can stretch his legs.

''I wouldn't be afraid of zombies!'' he says as Lucas launches the second part of the trilogy.

Lucas says nothing the first time Eliott screams when one of the zombies scares him. But the second time, he bursts out laughing, which earns him an elbow from Eliott who doesn't take his eyes off the screen. 

Lucas already knows the whole story, so he spends most of the third movie watching Eliott out of the corner of his eye. Imagining how good it would be to snuggle up in his arms. How good it would be to let his fingers get tangled in his. Then to remember how much Yann would suffer knowing that Lucas is having a trilogy evening with Eliott. But after all, it was Yann who let him down. Now Lucas is hoping that Eliott doesn't feel like a stand-in.   
Because as awful as it is, Lucas totally prefers the evening he's having to the one he had planned with Yann. Damn, that thought makes him feel even more guilty.

Lucas continues to lose himself in his thoughts, to lose himself between envy and guilt, until he notices that a tear is falling on Eliott's cheek. Lucas looks at the screen again and he doesn't have time to talk until a sob comes out of Eliott's chest.

''I hate this movie,'' Eliott moans as he lays his head on Lucas' thighs.

Lucas gently strokes his hair and then his back and extends his hand to stop the film, but Eliott grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers.

''Do you think I'm gonna watch Newt get killed by his best friend and not see the end of the movie?''

Lucas follows as Eliott folds his hands against his chest. And for the rest of the movie, he can only focus on the heartbeat of Eliott's heartbeat resonating beneath his hand.

The credits of the film end but none of them move. He wonders if Eliott hasn't fallen asleep after all. But Eliott sniffs and turns around to watch it.

''Why did you make me watch that? What the fuck kind of movie is this?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and smiles.

''Dylan O'Brien's kind of hot, right?''

''Yeah, well, so is he in _The First Time_ , and there nobody dies in agony. We should've watched _The Kissing Booth_ , at least I wouldn't have cried."

Lucas gently strokes Eliott's cheek to wipe away the tears.

''You're so cute. And I'm sure you would've cried, baby."

And Eliott stands up and sits across from Lucas with his legs tangled in the middle. 

''You are definitely the cutest of us, baby,'' Eliott says softly before leaning over to Lucas. 

Lucas feels his reds turning red. When Eliott's lips are so close to his own that he feels his warm breath, he puts his index finger on it, creating a surprise in Eliott's eyes, which widen.

"Don't call me baby."

And Eliott smiles, and Lucas slides his hand from his mouth to Eliott's neck.

''Okay honey, anything you want.''

Lucas dives into Eliott's gray-green eyes and anything that could've held him back disappears. He can't think about anything. Not Yann, not his money problems, not his mother. Nothing exists anymore, except him and that boy who looks at him in a way no one ever does. And Lucas is exactly what he must read in that look because he knows he looks at Eliott the same way.

So he pulls gently on Eliott's neck to bring him closer so he can finally taste Eliott's lips... 


	3. Week-end

Lucas feels his heart miss a beat when Eliott's lips meet his own.  
  
But he barely has time to really enjoy the kiss when Eliott backs away with a start.  
  
''I'm sorry''  
  
And Eliott runs his hand through his hair and Lucas can see he can't look at him.  
  
''We shouldn't. Shit. I''  
  
Eliott looks up and crosses Lucas' eyes. He comes forward again to kiss him and Lucas understands that he too is in an inner struggle.  
  
"We shouldn't" Eliott whispers in between kisses, "He's gonna kill me.''  
  
Lucas shakes his head without losing Eliott's lips.  
  
"We shouldn't" Lucas confirms, whispering "but I can't''  
  
He's cut by Eliott's mouth on his. And it's so good. As soon as they kiss, all the guilt leaves of Lucas' mind. Eliott is no longer Yann's half brother. He's not a forbidden man anymore. He's just Eliott. A young boy who makes Lucas' heart beat a little faster.  
  
Lucas slides his tongue over Eliott's and they both moan, while Lucas lies on his back so that Eliott can lie on top of him. Lucas moans when Eliott lets go of his lips to go down and kiss him on his neck. And if he was already hard, the kisses in the neck almost make him come.  
  
So he moves slowly so that Eliott's thigh rubs as little as possible on him. And if he tries to be discreet, he fails because Eliott stands up and looks at him while caressing his cheek.  
  
''Everything okay? We can slow it down. We'll slow down. I'm sorry. We shouldn't''  
  
Lucas slides his hand across Eliott's neck to pull him back and grabs his lips again. He slides his hands underneath Eliott's shirt. He has no desire to slow down. But when Eliott's hands caress him under his shirt, he gets so excited that he shivers and groans.  
  
He grabs Eliott's wrists and with a movement helped by his legs, he turns them both so that Eliott is under him.  
He gently licks Eliott's lower lip before meeting his tongue. When he bites Eliott's lip, Eliott moans directly into Lucas' mouth and he is forced to step back to blow so he doesn't get into his pants.  
  
"Babe?''  
  
Lucas looks at Eliott's worried look and Lucas starts laughing nervously at the ridiculous situation.  
  
''Don't call me babe ! I'm sorry. It's just so...''  
  
Lucas runs his hand through his hair. He's never been more embarrassed than he is right now. What if Eliott realizes he's just an inexperienced teenager? What if he decides to stop it?  
  
"You think too much, honey," Eliott says softly as he stands up under him and strokes his cheek, "Talk to me. Just tell me what you're thinking. Do you regret it? Damn it, you're right, we shouldn't.''  
  
Lucas puts a finger over Eliott's mouth to shut him up.  
  
''I'm gonna come down in my pants if you keep moaning like that.'' Lucas drops his red cheeks.  
  
Eliott looks at him and smiles. It's like something's bubbling inside him, just woken up by Eliott's kisses and caresses and it makes him feel so good.  
  
''I don't want to slow down, Eliott. I don't want to think about what we should or shouldn't do. You make me feel so good.''  
  
Eliott stands up to capture Lucas's lips. Lucas gets rid of his pants, which are really too tight, and then his shirt, in front of Eliott's bright smile.  
  
Eliott imitates him and slips into bed, lifting his blanket to invite Lucas in.  
  
And Lucas throws himself directly on Eliott's lips while caressing his chest. Eliott lies down on his back, letting Lucas place himself as he wishes. And Lucas rubs himself against the length of Eliott who seems just as hard as he is.  
  
Eliott puts dozens of kisses in Lucas' neck while gently pulling his hair at the base of his neck.  
  
''I ''gasp Lucas.  
  
''Tell me what you want'' encourages Eliott before kissing his ear.  
  
''I want to touch you,'' whispers Eliott.  
  
Eliott takes Lucas' hand in his and slides it from his chest to the elastic waistband of his boxer shorts. And he leaves it there before he puts his hand on Lucas' lower back.  
  
Lucas slides his hand under Eliott's boxer shorts and slides it along his thighs to be able to free him. When he caresses him, Eliott moans while rearing up and Lucas feels proud.  
  
As he gently caresses Eliott from top to bottom, he feels Eliott's hand caressing the elastic of his boxer shorts. He understands that Eliott is asking him for permission and nods his head while still kissing Eliott.  
When Eliott's hand surrounds his cock, Lucas moans and he is forced to break their kiss in order to get some air.  
  
"Are you okay?" Eliott asks quietly and without moving.  
  
"Oh, fuck, yeah." Lucas confirms before he takes his mouth back.  
  
Eliott makes a move to make them turn around and find themselves on Lucas. And if Lucas is surprised by the sudden move, he's not worried. He's not worried at all.

Eliott lies down on top of him to find his mouth and lines up their two cocks together, intertwining his fingertips with Lucas' so that they caress each other.

And it's so good that after two comings and goings, Lucas comes in a hoarse groan. And the vision of Lucas coming is enough for Eliott who comes groaning in Lucas' neck before half collapsing on him.

They resume their breaths slowly then Eliott moves slowly while kissing Lucas' shoulder.

''What do we do now?''

Lucas turns around and smiles. He has no desire to think about Yann now.

"Shower?''

Eliott raises an eyebrow looking at him.

''That's not what I meant. I was asking what we're gonna do now.''

"I know," sighs Lucas, "I know.''

Eliott kisses him on the shoulder again.

"You're right, a shower is a good place to start.''

*****

Lucas slides his hand into Eliott's and strokes the top of his hand with his thumb. It's 1:30am and he can't close his eyes. Maybe if he does, he'll realize it's all a dream. So he's lying on his stomach next to Eliott smiling at him.

"What did you think the first time you saw me?" Eliott asks, whispering "You didn't move for at least two minutes. I was wondering what you were thinking.''

Lucas giggles.

''Yeah. I thought I was in a dream when you came in with a towel, just out of the shower. I really thought it was a fucking dream.''

Eliott burst out laughing before he straddled Lucas' back and gently kissed his neck.

''You're my fucking dream, princess.'' He whispers in his ear.

Lucas moans and then wiggles as Eliott's breath tickles his neck.

''Why so many names? Why don't you just call me Lucas?''

And then Eliott thinks and leans back to Lucas' ear to whisper.

"Because you'll never be just Lucas to me.''

Lucas looks up at the sky and starts laughing.

''So cheesy.''

Eliott gently kisses his neck and then moves down his spine.

"Maybe... but it looks like it's working, doesn't it?''

Lucas turns around gently so he can meet his lips.

''Hell, yeah.''

They kiss languidly for several minutes, until Lucas yawns between kisses.

''I'm sorry. I really haven't been sleeping well last night.''

Eliott gently kisses his lips, then his cheeks and turns around, putting Lucas' arm around his waist so he's the little spoon.

''Good night, honey.''

Lucas puts a little kiss on his neck and smiles.

''Good night, baby.''

*****

Sometimes Lucas wonders why his brain isn't working properly. And he doesn't have any answers. No one has any answers for him. Doctors do have an answer : It's psychological. He's the one who's holding back from sleeping. But Lucas is still convinced that his brain is screwing up. Between the anxiety attacks, insomnia and his eating problems, he is absolutely not normal.

He's in the bed of a sweet and sensitive guy, but also gorgeous and personable. He's just had the closest thing to a real sexual adventure - the only one that doesn't involve him alone and his right hand - and even though he's fulfilled, he can't sleep.

And he knows why. Because deep down inside, a little voice reminds him that it's all wrong. That he shouldn't be in this bed, stuck against his best friend's half-brother, and that it's all going to end very badly. He knows that Eliott was right. They shouldn't. But he also knows that he doesn't want to fight something that makes him feel so happy.

He's wiggling to get his phone back from the bedside table. 2:16am... damn it.

''Aren't you sleeping?''

Lucas puts his phone down with a start as Eliott turns around and even though they are only lit by the moonlight reflecting through the window, Lucas sees that he struggles to keep his eyes open.

''Yeah, sorry. Go back to sleep.''

But Eliott gently strokes his cheek and moves closer until their noses touch.

''What's up? Tell me, please.''

Lucas takes a sigh.

''Everything. Nothing. I'm like that sometimes. Often. I just can't sleep. It's like my thoughts can't stop. Everything gets mixed up. High school. My dad. My mom. Roommates. Yann. You.''

"I don't want to be a problem for you, I'm sorry.''

Lucas puts his hand on Eliott's hand, which is still on his cheek.

''It's not you, baby. It's the situation. When I'm with you, like right now, it's just great. It's more than great. I feel like it's just a dream. But when I imagine Yann's reaction, I panic. How are we gonna do this?''

Eliott puts one of his legs over Lucas' and holds it tight.

''We'll have all day tomorrow to do that, honey. Right now, you need to sleep. How long has it been since you've actually slept?''

Lucas sighs again.

''Like Monday or Tuesday.''

Eliott's hugging him again, like he really feels sorry for him.

''Okay. Tomorrow, we'll get to the bottom of whatever's bothering you, together. In the meantime, let me help you relax. If you want to.''

Eliott gently bites his lower lip before kissing his while running his hand through his hair.

''Tell me if you want me to stop,'' he whispers in Lucas' ear before kissing his neck and then moving down his chest to his boxers.

He gently slides the rubber band to release Lucas' already hard cock and licks a strip all the way down.

"Are you okay?" Eliott asks, looking at Lucas again, while continuing to caress him from top to bottom.

''Totally. Don't stop....I mean, if you don't want to, you can.''

''Shhh'' cuts Eliott off as he comes up to kiss him ''Don't worry about what I want. I want you so much.''

"I'm yours," Lucas whispers before he kisses him again.

When Eliott's lips surround his tail, he loses all logical thought.

It's as if his body answers by itself. He makes moans that normally would fill him with shame but he doesn't care. His fingers are twisted around Eliott's hair and he tries not to pull at it. He bends his hips involuntarily, and when he hears Eliott yawn, he can barely apologize that Eliott already takes it in his mouth, turning his tongue around.

When he feels it coming, he gently pulls Eliott's hair back, but Eliott doesn't move and gently pushes his hand away. The thought of coming into Eliott's mouth makes him totally come, moaning his name. He collapses on the bed with his arms open and Eliott immediately comes to snuggle up against him.

Lucas hugs Eliott and closes his eyes.

*****

When the ringing of his phone wakes him up, he feels like a truck has driven over him. He closes his mouth and realizes that he must have been sleeping with his mouth open, which is quickly confirmed by the slime on the pillow.

Eliott is drawing next to him, just in his boxer shorts, as if it was quite normal in January and Lucas rubs his eyes and wonders how long he has been sleeping.

''It's 2:00pm, gorgeous.'' Eliott says quietly before he kisses him. ''You look good in your sleep.''

Lucas sighs as he looks up at the sky.

"It's super creepy knowing you were watching me sleep.''

And then Lucas' phone rings again and he grabs him. When he sees it's his dad, he jumps up and picks it up right away.

Eliott signals to him that he's going to leave him alone, but Lucas grabs his arm and hugs him. And if Eliott hears the whole conversation with his father, frankly, he doesn't care.

_''Lucas? Can you hear me?''_

''Yes, Dad.''

_''I saw that you tried to call me a couple of times. So did the school. I was on vacation with Olivia and it would have cost me a fortune to call you back.''_

Lucas takes a deep breath and decides not to answer that he could've called to check on him anyway.

''You're not paying for high school anymore. Or my rent, for that matter. I can't get by. That's why the school secretaries wanted to call you.''

Lucas hears a sigh on the phone and then there's a big silence. He looks to see if the line has been disconnected, but it hasn't.

_''Yeah. I'm sorry, man. With everything that's been going on with me, I kind of forgot about it. I switched banks, that's why. I'm gonna send an e-mail back to the school. I'll send your wire transfer to you today. I'd like to see you, Lucas. I need to talk to you.''_

Lucas looks up. The last time his father wanted to see him was to tell him he was married to Olivia.

''Why? What exactly is going on with you? Are you getting a divorce? Are you getting remarried again?''

_''No, just good news, son. You're going to have a little brother in about five months or so. And I'd really like you to be a part of his life. And so does Olivia.''_

Lucas can feel his breathing suddenly increasing.

''It's all right, love. I'm here. Just breathe. He's just an innocent baby." Whisper Eliott in his ear.

Lucas closes his eyes and squeezes himself a little closer to Eliott.

''I'm happy for you, Dad. I gotta go, but we'll talk later, okay?''

_''Okay, son. Whenever you're ready. I know this may be hard for you. Anyway, I'm taking care of the transfers now. I'll give you as much time as you need, but please call me. I'll see you soon.''_

Lucas puts the phone down and Eliott gives him a hug.

''Problem solved'' says Eliott as he gets up ''now get in the shower and we'll take care of whatever's on your pretty little mind.''

He kisses Lucas' forehead and heads to the bathroom, followed by Lucas.

*****

Lucas is now lying on the couch in the Cazas' living room with his head in Eliott's lap.

"Why do you think Yann lied?" Eliott asks softly. "He always told me you were at your father's when I came.''

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and sighs.

"I don't know. He always told me you never came over here. He always said Remi always came to Lyon to see you. And in fact, when you were here, he told me he'd gone on holiday to his aunt's house.''

Eliott bends over to kiss Lucas.

''He must have known I'd fall for you the moment I saw you.''

Lucas smiles and sits down next to Eliott.

''And now, how do we do it?''

And Eliott shrugs his shoulders and sighs.

"He's your best friend, you know him better than I do. He hates me and I don't even know why he hates me. I've tried to talk to him several times, but it's worse than talking to a wall. Even Maria and Dad can't figure out why. He closes his mouth every time they talk about me.''

''I know,'' confirms Lucas ''he can be really stubborn when he wants to be. But I already hurt him pretty bad last year. He almost broke up with his girlfriend because of me. I don't want to hurt him. Maybe it would be better if you guys got along a little better before he finds out, right?''

Eliott raises an eyebrow, which makes Lucas laugh.

''Shit, you're gonna have to teach me how to do that. Why can't I know how to do this with my eyebrows? How do you do that?''

"It's called experience, kid.''

Lucas grunts, looks up at the sky, and comes up to Eliott with his eyebrows raised.

"Teach me.''

And Lucas lifts up Eliott's shirt to drop a kiss towards his belly button, then onto his abs and drops two along Eliott's length through his pants.

''I love to learn.''

Lucas gently lifts Eliott's shirt to kiss each nipple.

"And I'm not a kid!''

Lucas gently pulls the elastic of Eliott's pants and underpants, letting only the head of the cock protrude, which he licks immediately.

Hearing Eliott moan and speak his name in such a sweet voice gives him the confidence to carry on. He pulls down Eliott's pants and boxers and takes it in his mouth.

Eliott's hips begin to respond to his rhythm as he throws his head back, moaning. When Lucas' forehead touches Eliott's belly, Eliott swears "holy shit" and Lucas can't help smiling as he continues to go back and forth.

He lets go of Eliott's cock to lick his balls while caressing him and he feels Eliott's cock getting harder and harder.

"Fuck yeah, baby, I ''

Lucas can feel Eliott's dick contracting under his hand so he takes it all in his mouth just as Eliott comes in with a loud moan. It's hot and sweet but not as gross as Lucas would have thought.

He licks his lips and then feels his cheeks turn very red when he realizes that Eliott has just seen him licking his lips.

Eliott smiles and pulls him towards him to kiss him while slipping his tongue into his mouth.

''We're never going to get to have a serious conversation,'' laughs Lucas between kisses.

''Just let me take care of you first.'' Eliott asks.

And Lucas is more than okay with that.

*****

''Well, shall we say nothing then? Is this really starting to sound like _The kissing booth_?" Eliott laughs as he strokes Lucas' arm.

''Yeah, I know. But we're just waiting for you guys to get closer. If you guys were close before, I don't see any reason why you can't get close again. We're gonna find out why he hates you and fix it. And then now that you're living here, you weren't going to spend the next six months ignoring each other.''

Eliott shrugs his shoulders.

''I think this is what Yann had planned.''

''Well, we're gonna change that. And when you two get close again, we'll tell him. Plans change sometimes.''

Lucas is startled and looks at the time. 6H30pm.

''Holy shit, he's gonna be here any minute. We had to reschedule our video game night. Hold on, I'll text him and let him know what time he'll be home.''

The text just says that Lucas frowns when he gets Yann's reply.

_Yann – 5:32pm/ Sorry, Lulu. Emma doesn't want to stay home alone. She comes to sleep with me at home because she wants to test the virtual reality helmet. But you can join us._

_Lucas- 6:34 pm. / No worries. I'll stay with Mika tonight. I don't want to hold the candle to you. Enjoy it._

_Yann – 6h36pm / Thank you Lulu, you're the best. You'll understand when you taste the pleasures of sex._

Lucas bursts out laughing before showing the message to Eliott.

''Yeah. You're a really bad friend picker. I have the right to say that Yann sucks sometimes?''

Lucas throws the couch cushion in his face and then gets really upset.

''I guess I pick the wrong boyfriend too. Because I was going to ask him to spend the night in my apartment because I can't stay here because of his half-brother...but maybe I'll spend the night looking for other friends.''

Eliott laughs and grabs Lucas to pull him aside.

''You wouldn't dare. So, do you want me to come over to your place?''

''Huh...I can't stay here 'cause Yann's coming home. So, yeah, I'd love to. And maybe I'll even let you pick the movie.''

''And won't Yann find out? He doesn't know your roommates?''

Lucas smiles before kissing him.

''You're so cute. Of course he does. But nobody knows you're his half-brother. You can't say you two looked very much alike, you know. You just don't have to say it. Anyway, I was mostly just planning to stay in my room.''

Lucas backs up by running his hand through his hair.

''Well, not to hide, anyway. You can meet my roommates, of course. I meant to say''

''I know what you meant," said Eliott, laughing before kissing him, "and totally okay with that.''

*****

And for once, Lucas is lucky, because when they get to the apartment, it's completely empty.

Lucas grabs Eliott's hand and guides him to his room. As soon as he opens the door, he wishes he had put it away. He removes the textbooks scattered on his bed and picks up the clothes that are on the floor and apologizes.

But Eliott wraps his waist around him and pulls him towards him to kiss him. Lucas gently pushes Eliott to lie down on his bed and climbs astride his thighs. He lets his hands slide under Eliott's shirt and takes off his sweater and shirt. Eliott looks at him smiling, kisses his lips, cheeks and neck before putting him shirtless.

Lucas gently unbuttons Eliott's jeans, while sucking a mark on his neck when the door of his room opens with a crash.

"Oh, damn kitten.''

Lucas is startled and turns and gives his roommate a black look.

''Mika! Out !''

Mika looks up at him, raises his eyebrows and then looks at Eliott, who's still lying shirtless under Lucas before smiling.

''Okay. Don't be silly. Let's be responsible. And take your time. I'm probably gonna go outside. I love you, kitten.''

And the door closes as Lucas moans in frustration, which makes Eliott laugh.

"This isn't funny," says Lucas, slapping his arm, "I don't have any fucking privacy!''

Eliott shrugs his shoulders, stands up to put a little kiss on Lucas' lips before he lies down.

''Somebody very smart said to me, ''even though it sucks sometimes, it's cool to have people who care about you.'' I think he was right. He's a really smart person.''

Lucas sighs before he lies down on his back next to Eliott.

''I know you're right. Mika's like a really big brother to me. When my mom was still home, sometimes it was so hard, I didn't want to come home. And since I'd messed things up with Yann, I didn't want to ask him for help. And then I met Mika. He allowed me to sleep here when I needed it. And when my mother's schizophrenia got worse and the doctors put him in a psychiatric hospital, he welcomed me with open arms. He helped me a lot to accept myself. He guided me through my coming-out process. He gets on my nerves and has no notion of privacy, but he has always been there for me. He's really like a brother to me.''

Eliott gently strokes Lucas' arm and kisses his forehead.

''I'm glad you're surrounded by such a good person, honey. You deserve so much more. You deserve to have such a good life.''

Eliott suddenly seems to get sad and sighs as he sits on Lucas' bed.

''You know, when I told you I spent two weeks in a mental hospital, I''

''Yeah. I'm sorry I shouted'' cut Lucas sitting next to him ''I never told anyone I was hospitalized last summer. I'm sorry I yelled at you. The truth is, my mom had just been committed and I couldn't see my way out on my own. I couldn't deal with my anxiety attacks and my insomnia. And I forgot to eat. One day I passed out in the street and the doctors kept me there until my weight was back to normal and I learned to manage my seizures. Luckily, it was summer vacation so I just told my friends I'd gone to my dad's.''

Lucas looks at Eliott, who seems totally lost. It's like he doesn't want to talk about this moment, actually.

''I'm sorry. I'm freaking you out. I swear I'm getting better.''

''You'll never scare me, honey. I told you before.'' whispers Eliott as he hugs him, "but that's not what I really meant. I just wanted you to know that I''

A knock on Lucas' door cuts Eliott off in his sentence.

"Guys?" Mika says, "If you're done, I was gonna order Chinese. Would you like to?''

Lucas gets up and opens the door with a smile on his face.

''Yeah, I'd love to. Thank you, Mika.''

And he hugs Mika before he realizes he's still shirtless and steps back for his shirt.

''You,'' says Mika, pointing to Eliott ''I don't know what you did to him, but keep doing that. You make my kitten happy, and I like it!''

And Eliott gets up out of bed to reach out his hand to Mika.

"I am Eliott.''

Mika looks at Eliott's outstretched hand and pushes it away to take him in his arms.

''Mika, Lucas' personal guru. Nice to meet you.''

Lucas picks up Eliott's shirt off the floor and starts coughing to draw attention to himself.

''Mika, get your hands off my boyfriend, please.''

Mika looks at him before he bursts out laughing.

''I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. Way to go, kitten! Nice touch.''

And then Mika goes back out into the hallway after he winks at Lucas.

*****

Eliott looks at Lucas like he's a wonder and frankly, Lucas could really get used to being looked at like that.

''How do you know how to do stuff like that if I'm your first?'' Eliott whispers.

They're lying face to face under Lucas' blanket, totally naked. Their legs and hands are completely intertwined and their noses almost touch.

''It's called being gifted, baby,'' Lucas says with a serious look on his face.

Eliott looks up to the sky.

''OK. Pornohub probably helped." finally confesses Lucas, causing Eliott to giggle.

''I should send a thank-you email to the website creator, then.''

Lucas feels his cheeks turn red and closes his eyes while he takes a breath.

" How many other guys have you been with?''

Eliott doesn't even seem surprised by his request.

''Guys, two. And three girls. Actually, I dated a girl for four years. We broke up before winter break.''

"But didn't you date the delivery guy last summer?''

It's Eliott's turn to show he's embarrassed, and he closes his eyes for a few seconds before answering.

''With Lucille, it was complicated. We were together, then we broke up, but I always came back to her even if I didn't really want to. I couldn't stop coming back to her.''

''Why?''

''Because she knew me. Because I didn't want to be alone. Because she let me think that no one else could love me but her. Because''

Lucas nods his head and kisses Eliott's nose.

''Hey, it's okay. Sorry if you don't feel comfortable talking about it. I didn't mean to make you sad.''

So Eliott smiles and rubs his nose against Lucas' nose.

''I'm not sad at all. I don't want to scare you or make you sad.''

Lucas nods his head.

''I'm definitely not sad. I can't blame you for what you went through before you met me. And I'm not afraid of you,baby ''

Eliott looks him in the eye and doesn't take his eyes off him.

''Not even if I told you I blew up two classrooms at my old high school and that's why I got fired?'

Lucas pretends to be shocked and puts one hand on his chest like his heart's gonna stop.

''OMG, what? No, that can't be right. You're scaring me so much, now I'm going to call Mika for help to save me from you. Look, I'm trembling with fear.''

Eliott laughs and strokes Lucas' cheek.

"How did you know?''

''Maybe I did some research,'' says Lucas with a smile, ''and maybe I stumbled across your old high school blog...''

''That's a lot of maybe,'' Eliott points out. "And?''

''And I don't care, baby. I know you're a good person.''

Lucas purses his lips against Eliott's and kisses him gently before huddling up to him and closing his eyes. And if he hears Eliott whisper something to him, he doesn't quite understand because he's starting to fall asleep. So he sighs as he hugs him.

*****

''It's gonna kill me not to be able to touch you. See you and not be able to kiss you. I'm going to die." says Lucas as he gives Eliott one last kiss.

They're in the lobby of the apartment. It's almost 6:00pm and it's already been 10 minutes since Eliott said he had to leave.

''I have to get home before my parents do, honey. It's gonna kill me too, seeing you at school and not being able to hug you. But you're right, it'll be better for both of us if Yann doesn't hate me. I don't want you to have to choose between the two of us. And then we can have more days like today, just the two of us. Spending Sunday morning in bed before lunch with Mika and then watching you do your homework while I draw and then being naked against you again, I could get used to it. Totally.''

''Me, too,'' Lucas said softly, squeezing closer to Eliott. ''I loved every moment of that weekend with you. But I wish I had so much more.''

''I know, me too. So we're gonna go along with your plan. And at school we will control ourselves. And then we can still get together secretly every once in a while, right?''

And Eliott raises an eyebrow and smiles. He knows it makes Lucas laugh when he does that.

''Yeah. I've always dreamed of making out with my boyfriend on the sly in the men's toilet," laughs Lucas.

''I know,'' says Eliott, whispering, ''This sucks. But I'm sure it'll be exciting not to get caught.''

Lucas smiles as he hugs Eliott.

"See you tomorrow, bad boy.''


	4. Secrets

Maybe Eliott was right. Maybe being a bad boy is exciting.

The guilt leaves Lucas a little more every time he sees Yann laughing at Emma. He's happy for Yann and he can't help thinking that Yann should be able to be happy for him, even if he hates Eliott. 

Lucas thinks back on his first mission: to find out why Yann started hating Eliott. Maybe if he understands why, he can help fix it. And then Yann can rejoice in the knowledge that they're both getting out. 

At least that's what Lucas is hoping for. That's the best possible scenario. And Lucas is hoping that's what's going to happen.

The bell cuts Lucas off in his thoughts and he realizes he hasn't seen the past hour. It's already lunchtime. He looks at his phone, which is vibrating.

_Racoon -12:01 / I want to make your oldest dream come true. Meet me in the last stall, third-floor bathroom... if you want..._

Lucas is stuffing his stuff in his bag and putting a strap over his shoulder. He's one of the first students to leave the room. And even if he hears Yann pronounce his first name, he doesn't turn around and almost runs towards the third floor. 

Since it's lunch time, the floor is completely empty. Lucas knocks at the last booth, still out of breath. The door is barely open when he is drawn into a languorous kiss. 

"I needed this too much," whispers Eliott before kissing him again. 

Lucas nods his head, keeping Eliott's lips close to his own. He's wanted to since he caught Eliott's eye this morning when he came into the school.

"Lucas?"

Lucas jumped and puts his hand over Eliott's mouth as he recognizes Basile's voice.

''Are you okay, Lulu? I saw you come running in here. Aren't you sick?"

Lucas sighs.

''No, Baz, I'm fine. I'll be right over. Just go."

"OK, don't worry, I'll wait for you."

Eliott kisses the palm of Lucas' hand, still pressed against his mouth, then gives him a quiet little kiss before flushing the toilet and waving him off.

Lucas washes his hands at full speed, before pulling Basile by the arm to get him out of here. They just walked through the door his cell phone vibrates.

_Racoon -12h11 / So, in line with your dreams, bad boy?_

_Hedgehog - 12:13 / So much better._

Lucas stows his phone in his pocket on his way to the canteen with Basile, trying to hide his smile.

*****

''Lucas I'm really sorry about this weekend.''

Lucas is sweeping the air between him and Yann.

"I told you it was OK, Yann. I understand. Don't worry about me.You've been talking about it for two days. I told you it was okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. No problem."

Yann looks at him weird, like he's trying to figure out if Lucas is lying or not, but eventually gives up.

"All right, guys, wanna go home?" Yann says, "How about beer, weed and video games?"

Lucas tries to hold back the frustrated moaning in his throat. He hasn't been able to actually see Eliott since Monday noon, when they met on the third floor, before Basile ruined it. So it's been two days. And since today is Wednesday, when Lucas finished school at 12:30 pm and Eliott at 1 pm, they had planned to meet at Lucas' place to spend the afternoon together. And now Lucas has to make a decision that he hates: choosing to spend an afternoon with his buddies or with his secret boyfriend...

''So, Lulu, what do you say? How long has it been since we've hung out?"

Yann's words hurt Lucas. As if it was his fault. Whereas he's the one who left him high and dry twice in a row. Even three times actually. Just because of that, it's okay, his mind's made up.

''No, I'm sorry, I promised Mika I'd help him.''

"Help her with what?" Basile asks.

"With the papers from the apartment," answers Lucas without thinking. "We have to sort through the papers. I promised to do that this afternoon. But have fun. See you tomorrow. And then we'll do something this weekend, okay?"

Lucas greets his friends and walks to the bus stop smiling. Eliott finishes school in 30 minutes. Which means in 45 minutes they'll be together. Lucas feels a huge smile appear on his face and he doesn't even struggle. 

And 45 minutes later, he smiles even more when he opens the door for Eliott. Eliott slams him against the wall as soon as the door is closed, grabbing his lips. 

''It's so damn hard to see you and not be able to get to you, honey,'' Eliott whispers as he kisses him on the neck.

''But the reunion is worth it, isn't it?'' says Lucas before he kisses him. 

"Definitely," Eliott whispered, lifting Lucas' legs so that he can wrap them around his waist, allowing him to take him to the couch where he lies down, putting Lucas on top of him.

''By the way, thanks for your idea about not putting our real names on our phones. Otherwise we'd have been discovered. My dad wanted me to teach him how to use Whatsapp. Of course, you had to send a message at that point. So he spent 10 minutes asking me if "hedgehog" was a codename for a drug dealer."

Lucas starts laughing as he curls up against Eliott's chest. He really missed not being able to curl up with him.

''What message was that?''

 _''Okay. See you at 1.pm. I'll be alone."_  
  
Lucas sighs. Yeah, well, a drug dealer could say that.

''So...I had to show him some more to prove to him I wasn't doing drugs. Sorry."

Lucas looks up at Eliott and frowns.

"Like?"

"Like... this one."

Eliott pulls out his phone and shows the text to Lucas, who shakes his head. He should never have sent stuff like that. His cheeks turn red and he shakes his head, chasing away the thought that Remi is reading this text message.

''No, I'm just kidding, honey.'' says Eliott jokingly, ''You should see your beautiful red face. No, I showed that one."

Lucas punches him in the chest before he picks up the phone.

_Hedgehog - 7:13/ Hello to you too, baby. I had a dream about you, so yeah, I slept great, but I can't wait to sleep in your arms. I think you are the most wonderful pillow._

He just has time to finish proofreading his message that the apartment bell is ringing. At the second ring, Lucas gets up from the couch and moans.

''Mika must have forgotten his keys.''

Lucas pushes the button on the intercom.

"Yeah?"

"Lucas, it's me."

Lucas panics when he hears Yann's voice. And Eliott heard it, too, because he gets up from the couch right away.

"I open," Lucas answers, giving Eliott a panicked look.

He lets go of the intercom button and waves to Eliott.

''I'll get rid of him in no time. Go to Mika's room. He's not gonna go in there, that's for sure."

And then Eliott creeps into Mika's room after one last kiss. Lucas watches him close the door before he opens the front door.

''What are you doing here, Yann? What about the guys?"

Yann looks worried and runs a hand through his hair, as a sign of nervousness. 

''We finally cancelled. I needed to see you, Lucas. Can we talk?"

Lucas nods his head and steps aside to let him in.

''Yeah, sure. Come into the living room. What's wrong?''

"You." Yann says looking him in the eyes. "You've been so weird since Monday. Almost absent. You don't talk to me. You seem to be lost in thought. And you look at me strangely. I know I screwed up this weekend. And I'm sorry for that. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't neglect you. So now I'm gonna spend all my time with you."

Lucas jumps up and puts his hand on his best friend's hand.

''What? No. I'm fine, Yann. I'm really fine. Sorry if I was a little absent."

Lucas is thinking. If Yann's here, we might as well try to fulfil his mission. 

''I had my father on the phone this weekend. I'm gonna have a little brother."

Yann opens his eyes in surprise.

''Wow. Fucking huge. How does it feel?"

"I don't know. At first I was jealous. Yeah, I know, it sucks. He's not even born that I'm jealous of him. But I guess you're always a little jealous when you have siblings."

Yann shrugs his shoulders uncomfortably and Lucas knows he's hitting the nerve.

"And you, with your half-brother, it's getting better?"

Yann shrugs his shoulders again and sighs.

''Yeah. No. I don't know."

Lucas frowns and doesn't let go of Yann's gaze.

''Ok Lulu. Yeah, he wants to make things right, but I don't know if I want to."

''What do you mean?"

''He's already hurt me too much. I don't know if I want to bring him into my life. I'm not just jealous. I mean, maybe a little bit. But you'll be different with the baby. Because your father is really your father."

The misunderstanding must show on Lucas' face because Yann sighs before continuing.

''You saw Eliott, didn't you? He's the spitting image of our father. Whereas I'm asked at least once a month if I ever wanted to find my real parents."

Lucas looks at his best friend in amazement. Yann hardly ever talks about the fact that he's adopted.

''But Remi is your father, Yann. You know he is. He doesn't give a damn about blood relations."

"Well, not me" gets Yann angry, startled Lucas. ''Fucking sorry, Lulu. I wanted to scream. I'm just pissed off, that's all. I feel he's more legitimate than me and it pisses me off."

Lucas is hugging his best friend. He can't pretend to understand how he feels but he can show him he's there for him.

He's so caught up in his own thoughts that he doesn't pay attention to Mika coming into the apartment. He only pays attention when Mika opens his bedroom door and starts screaming in surprise when he closes it. 

Yann is already standing in the middle of the corridor while Lucas is barely up from the sofa.

''What's wrong, Mika?''

Mika looks at him then turns to Lucas.

''Why your?"

Lucas beckons him to shut up and Mika looks at Yann again in disbelief.

"Mika, are you alright?" asks Yann again.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I was surprised. Kitten, you left your stuff in my room, do you even know? If this stays in my room too long, I'm gonna think it's mine."

Lucas nods his head before turning to Yann.

''I left all my clean laundry on Mika's bed, I was folding it when you came in. I'll take care of it, Mika. I'm sorry."

Yann looks at him surprised.

"Why don't you do that in your room?"

Lucas thinks but nothing comes. Damn, he's really bad at lying. The only thing his mind tells him are his mother's words. _"When the lie takes the elevator, the truth takes the stairs. It takes longer, but it always comes in eventually. Never lie, Lucas. It may seem easier, but it always catches up with you in the end."_ And that doesn't help him at all. On the contrary.

''Because his bed is covered with textbooks.'' Mika replies, ''I even wonder how he sleeps.''

Yann starts laughing when he puts on his coat.

"It's true that you've always liked to work on your bed. Well, I'll go. See you tomorrow then, Lulu."

''See you tomorrow, bro. And don't worry, we're fine."

Lucas closes the door behind Yann and turns towards Mika, who points at him.

''No, you're not all right, Kitten. You're lying to your best friend. You're hiding your boyfriend from him? What the fuck is this? Yann knows you're gay, why are you hiding it from him?"

"Because he's my half-brother and he hates me." Eliott says, coming out of Mika's room, "I'm sorry I scared you."

Mika looks at Eliott and then turns to Lucas.

''You and me, talk tonight. Mandatory". 

And he goes back to his room, leaving the boys in the hallway.

"You," Eliott laughs, pointing at him, "you're gonna get yelled at."

And Lucas slaps his finger before he takes him to his room. 

*****

"It's a dangerous game, Kitten."

Lucas looks up at the sky before he looks at Mika again.

''Do you think I don't know that? But what do you want me to do? Give up on Eliott when he's the only guy I really care about, and I don't know what kind of luck I'm having? Or condemn my friendship with Yann when he's like a brother to me? You think I didn't try to resist? Why shouldn't I have the right to be happy too?"

"Why not just tell the truth?" Mika suggests sitting next to Lucas on the sofa.

Lucas sighs.

"But I already know Yann won't accept it. He really hates Eliott. Apparently, it's also linked to his adoption, so it really affects him. I just want to try and get them closer before we tell him."

Mika sighs and crosses his legs on the coffee table.

''I'm just scared for you, Lucas. If you're trying to protect everyone around you, you're the one that's gonna get hurt."

"Okay, why don't you give me a seat?" Lisa asks as she walks into the living room, wrapped in her blanket. 

Lucas shifts over to let her get settled. 

''So, should we spend the evening discussing Lucas and his sex plan or watch a movie?'' she asks.

Lucas gives an exaggerated sigh.

''It's not a sex plan.''

Lisa looks at him and then bends over to talk to Mika like Lucas isn't even there anymore.

''I heard them moaning all afternoon, they've been keeping me up. And I thought Lucas was gonna be a virgin till college."

''I know,'' confirms Mika, ''me, too.''

"Hey," moans Lucas, "I'm here, I can hear you just fine."

"Me too, I heard you earlier," Lisa continues, with a devilish smile on her face. 

''Still, it's true, kitten,'' says Mika, ''if you have any questions or if you're in trouble. Now that you"

''I'm not doing anything'' cuts Lucas off, end of discussion. "at least not what you're thinking."

''This sucks'' moans Lisa as she gets up, dropping her blanket on the couch ''No point. I'll make some tea and we'll put on a film, then."

As soon as Lisa leaves the living room, Lucas turns to Mika with a worried look on his face.

"Do you think that's normal? Do you think we're taking too long?"

Mika stops him by putting her hand on Lucas' knee.

"No, kitten, that's perfect. Take your time. You have plenty of time."

"But he's already... you know... Girls and guys."

"So what?" Mika shrugs his shoulders. "If you tell me he was moving too fast for you, I'm gonna break his beautiful face. Trust you, Lucas. Don't think about it. Just trust yourself. Listen to each other and everything will be fine. Just take your time. You have a lot to figure out. There's a lot of ways to make love. I know you don't just want to have sex. So let your feelings and senses guide you and everything will be okay. Never do anything if you feel you have to. Trust is important, you know. And talk. Communication is always the most important thing. Especially for the first time."

Lucas nods his head and smiles.

''And if you need to, your guru is right here, ready to answer your questions!''

"Thanks, Mika."

''And even in a few months, if you want me to tell you about different props or other stimuli, you can come and"

''Thanks, Mika."

*****

"Laser game?" Lucas asks, looking at his friends.

"Yeah," confirms Alexia. "It's gonna be cool, right? Let's do it tomorrow? 7h00pm?"

Yann shakes his head.

"I have to stay home because of my brother. My parents won't let me go out. They want the four of us to have dinner because for once they're not working this Friday night. Like that's gonna make us a real family."

The girls turn to Yann with a frown on their faces.

''Yann? You got a brother? Since when?"

Yann raises his eyebrows looking defeated.

"He's my half-brother in fact. My father's eldest son. He came to live at home."

"How old is he?" Daphne asks.

Yann glances at the boys and Lucas nods, urging his best friend to entrust this secret part of his life to him.

''19. Actually, it's Eliott."

The girls frown again.

"Wait," stops lmane, "like Eliott, the new guy?"

"Hot Eliott?" Alexia asks.

"The mysterious guy everyone's talking about?" Daphne asks.

Everyone turns to emma who is painting her nails.

"Yeah," confirms Yann, grunting "himself."

''We can ask him to come along,'' suggests Basile. ''Your parents would be happy to know you're trying to fit in, wouldn't they? That way, you can come?"

Lucas smiles, and thanks Basile inwardly for suggesting such an idea. It's just great. 

''Pfft forget it, he'll never go for it. Too bad, go ahead without me'' says Yann.

''Wait'' stops him, Lucas. ''I'll ask him.''

He immediately turns around and crosses the courtyard with a big smile on his face. Eliott draws, always sitting in the same place in the courtyard. Lucas jumps next to Eliott, who is startled.

''Hi Baby'' Lucas laughs, taking care to turn his back on his friends who are looking in their direction so that they don't see his big smile.

"Uh, hi," says surprised Eliott.

He bends over to look at all of Lucas' friends looking in their direction. All his friends, and therefore Yann, but he doesn't look black for once.

''So? You've told them and you've come to kiss me to prove to them that you're not lying?" Eliott asks, standing up, a little smile on his face.

''Uh... no. Sorry. But I'm here to invite you to come over for laser tag with us Friday night. That's a big step forward, isn't it?"

A huge smile goes across Eliott's face. 

''A beautiful breakthrough. Laser tag? Maybe I could find you in the dark and touch you? Or kiss you? Or..."

"All that" confirms Lucas with a raised eyebrow.

Eliott raises one eyebrow and smiles.

''You can tell them I hesitated if you want to. But I'm really looking forward to it. In the meantime, 5:00, third floor?"

Lucas takes one step closer to Eliott. And even if it's too close for two friends, he doesn't care.

"Sure, baby."

And Lucas turns around and gently brushes Eliott's hand with his pinky. And he forces himself to stop smiling silly smiles before he gets back to his friends.

"It's okay, Yann, you're coming."

"Does he agree?" Yann is surprised.

"Yeah" confirms Lucas. "I didn't even need to convince him."

*****

Lucas smiles as he grabs his gun. He loves laser tag. Especially since they'll have a private room there. This is so cool. 

He looks at the girls who have painted fluorescent lines on their faces and laughs. They look like real warriors. They've decided to play the girls against the guys. All that's missing is Yann and Eliott. And Lucas starts worrying they're gonna be late when he see them walk through the door.

Eliott is just gorgeous. He's wearing a black shirt and black jeans with holes in his knees. And even with a game vest on, he looks great.

''Sorry I'm late'' says Yann, smiling ''Mr. Eliott changed his outfit three times even though we'll spend the evening in the dark. Watch out, girls, I think he wants to please tonight."

Lucas feels that Yann is happy. There's no mean tone in his voice. Eliott comes close to him and puts his arm around Yann's shoulders.

''Sorry to contradict you, little brother, but you know I don't only dress up for girls.''

All eyes turn to Lucas. Damn, why does he have to be the only gay in the band. He looks at Eliott with a frown, lifts up his gun and fires a shot at Eliott's vest, which lights up.

"Hey, hey." says Eliott, "I thought we were on the same team?"

"I just wanted to make sure it worked," laughs Lucas, "and calm your ardors"

While the whole group is laughing, Eliott grabs his gun and fires a shot at Lucas, who lights up.

"Mine works too."

''It's gonna be an easy game if the guys shoot each other,'' Alexia laughs as she walks into the room. 

And this really is the hottest laser game game lucas has ever played. Eliott must have been a ninja in another life. He spends his time joining Lucas, touching his buttocks, gently kissing his cheek, taking his hand or quickly kissing him in a dark corner. And Lucas barely has time to enjoy it when Eliott has already left. 

Finally, Lucas spends most of his time waiting for Eliott to find him so that he can exchange a little kiss or a caress.

When he feels a hand wrapping itself around his waist and pulling it towards him, he totally lets himself go.

''Damn baby, it's really hot to do this in the dark in the middle of everyone.''

When he feels the hand around him push him away, he almost falls backwards. 

His vest lights up and illuminates Basile's shocked face. And Lucas understands that Basile had only pulled him towards him to stop Imane from shooting him. 

Lucas doesn't have time to open his mouth until the end of the game rings and the lights come back on. 

''Shit, Lucas. What the hell was that?"

Lucas looks at Basile and shakes his head in a panic.

''Please don't say anything. I'll explain it to you."

Basile nods his head and squints and everyone is in front of the scores. The girls won by two points.

"Let's go for a drink?" Basile asks, "I'm getting hot from all this. Not you, Lucas?"

Lucas looks up to the sky. Why did he have to be discovered by his least subtle friend?

Lucas' apartment being the closest, and the only place without parents, everyone votes to go there after turning in vests and guns. 

Basile gets close to Lucas as they walk towards the apartment. 

''So?'' he whispering, ''Who did you think I was?''

Lucas laughs in spite of himself. Only Basile doesn't understand everything. As if Lucas could talk about Yann or Arthur. Or even worse, about one of the girls.

Lucas shrugs his shoulders in laughter and takes the key out of his house. 

''Ok. Go into the living room. I'll bring the beers." Lucas says as he opens the door, "Mika and Lisa are working tonight."

The merry band invades the living room and Basile follows Lucas to get the beers from the kitchen.

''Come on Lulu, tell me. You have a secret lover, right?"

Lucas tries to control the redness in his cheeks and signals Basile to shut up.

''Hush, shut up. I was just joking, Basile, that's all. I was just kidding. I knew it was you."

Basile looks at him and shakes his head. Lucas is a really bad liar. To stop seeing his friend, Lucas opens the fridge looking for the beers and hands them to Basile.

''Imane would like a coke'' says Eliott softly as he enters the kitchen.

''Okay. I've got. Takes a glasses from the cupboard.'' answers Lucas still with his head in the fridge. 

Lucas hears a ''ohhhh'' coming from Basile's mouth and straightens up by closing the fridge, taking out the coke bottle.

''Holy shit. It's you," Basile says, pointing at Eliott.

Lucas puts his hand over Basile's mouth and puts his finger down.

''Basile, how can you think that. I tell you I just''

''Lucas, please don't play me for a idiot. Mika keep his glasses in the cupboard under the sink. Who does that? Normally, the glasses are stored high up. Eliott found them at first. So either he's got a chance that's really sassy, or he's been here before... ...which leads me to believe that he's the one you thought you were talking to when you told me you were hot and excited.''

Eliott coughs when he looks at them.

"What did you say?"

''Yeah, well, I thought it was you.'' Defends Lucas before he puts a hand over his mouth.

"I knew it!" Basile laughs as he rubs his hands together.

"Please, don't say anything" begs Lucas "especially not to Yann."

"I'll be a grave" promises Basile, laughing, disappearing into the living room with the beers in his hand. 

"We're not very good? Aren't we?" Lucas remarks, gently kissing Eliott, "We're barely a week old and we've already been discovered. Your dad's already find out. Now Baz."

And Eliott smiles before he leaves one last kiss on Lucas' lips.

''You burned us, baby. Both times. Even if my dad doesn't know it's you, my hedgehog. And I'm sure everything will be fine, Basile seems nice.''

Lucas looks up to the sky.

''Nice, yeah. Subtle? No, not at all...''

"Lucas, what are you doing tonight?" shouts Yann from the living room. 

Lucas almost jumps from the kitchen into the living room. 

"What?''

''I was asking you what you're doing tonight. If Mika and Lisa are working, do you want to come over for a movie?''

''I'm sure Lucas would love that.'' Basile says smiling. ''He really likes all the Cazas's familly, don't you, Lucas?''

Lucas threw him one of the sofa cushions before turning to Yann.

''Yeah. Of course, why not."

*****

''Well? Are we gonna play or are we gonna make a movie?"

Lucas takes off his shoes and looks at Yann.

"A movie? Are you watching with us, Eliott?"

He doesn't miss Yann's slight frown and he sends the same one back to him.

''Yeah. What are you watching?"

Yann shrugs his shoulders as he slumps down on the couch. Lucas sits down next to him while Eliott goes into the kitchen. 

''Give him a chance, Yann. Laser tag was more fun, wasn't it?"

''Yeah. You got that right. Sorry."

Lucas senses a small glimmer of hope being born. Maybe things will work out faster than he ever hoped and he won't have to keep their relationship a secret any longer. 

Eliott comes back from the kitchen with a post-it in his hand.

''The parents are out to dinner after all.''

Yann leaps off the couch, hands on your hips.

''It's my parents, Eliott. You can't just decide to be part of this family whenever it suits you.''

Eliott takes a step back even though he's at least 20 feet away from Yann and then takes a quick look at Lucas before walking up the stairs. 

''Sorry. I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed."

And Lucas feels the hope of dying inside him.

Shit.

*****

Lucas watches the movie without any willpower. He just wants to go upstairs to find Eliott and see if he's okay. But he can't do that. And this situation is so fucked.

The nice thing about sleeping at Yann's is he can sleep in the guest room. And it's on the first floor. When Yann's not there, he sleeps in his room directly. But when he's here, he goes upstairs to sleep. They used to sleep together but when they turned 14 or 15, it started to get weird so Lucas moved into the guest room. 

And now he's more than happy to go upstairs to sleep. Because even if the guest room is at the other end of the hallway from Eliott's, at least it's on the same floor. 

When he goes upstairs at 11pm, claiming he's tired, Maria and Rémi still haven't come home. He waits twenty minutes before not resisting any more and going to Eliott's room.

He comes home without knocking to avoid making noise. Eliott is sitting on his bed drawing.

''Lucas. What are you doing there? Are you crazy?"

Lucas shrugs his shoulders and joins Eliott on the bed to kiss him.

''I can't resist this. I needed your lips. And need to know how you are?"

And Eliott smiles as he puts his arms around Lucas.

''I'm fine, don't worry. It's nothing new. I'm used to it."

Lucas sits down next to Eliott and gently takes the drawing in his lap. A hedgehog and a raccoon are curled up on the couch next to a smiling panda.

''I know. But I also know it hurts you."

Eliott shrugs his shoulders, puts the drawing on his bedside table then puts his head on Lucas' neck.

''Yeah. A little bit. I wish he would tell me what I did to deserve this."

''We're gonna find out.'' Promises Lucas before he kisses his neck, then his jaw and then his lips. 

"You should," whispers Eliott.

''I know,'' Lucas whispers, not moving. 

They kiss languorously and Lucas gently pushes Eliott to lie down on his bed. 

''I wish I could sleep with you so much.'' Lucas whispers between kisses.

''I know. I wish I could, too."

"I "

Lucas is startled when Eliott's door opens and falls from the bed, taking Eliott's bedside lamp with him, cutting off the light.

''Eliott? What the fuck is this?"

Lucas immediately recognizes Remi's voice.

''Dad. You scared me." Eliott groans as he straightens up. "You know about privacy?"

Lucas isn't moving. Where he is, Remi can't see him if he's not moving. It's a good thing he fell out of the side of the bed opposite the door

''What were you doing? What was that noise?"

''You scared me. I dropped the lamp."

Lucas sees Remi's feet moving towards the bed and tries not to breathe too hard.

''Eliott, what are you hiding? If you're not okay"

"I'm fine" cuts Eliott. "I was jerking off, Dad. I'm a teenager, it's just normal. You scared me, I elbowed my lamp. Now I'd like you to get out of my room and give me some privacy, please."

Lucas puts his hand in front of his mouth so he doesn't laugh and looks at Remi's feet as he turns to walk out the door.

''Sorry, Eliott. You know we can't put a lock on you."

''Yeah, well, you could knock.''

The door closes and almost immediately Eliott leans over Lucas' head.

''Oh, for fuck's sake.''

Lucas laughs as Eliott's hand hits his mouth to muffle the noise. 

Lucas gets back on his feet, kisses Eliott for a few minutes before sneaking back to his room.

*****

When he wakes up on Sunday morning, Eliott is huddled up and Lucas doesn't even remember when Eliott came to join him. It's only 6 o'clock so they take the time to kiss quietly before getting up and going down separately to have breakfast, pretenders not having slept together. And Lucas is starting to get good at the game of pretending. 

And for a next week, that's what he does. Pretending not to look for Eliott with his eyes as soon as he arrives at school, pretending not to be happy as soon as he receives a message from Eliott or when he finds a drawing in his locker. Pretending to go to the bathroom just so you can kiss your boyfriend. Pretending to be in a hurry to get home to join Eliott under the secret bridge. Pretending to be the same as before when his life has totally changed. 

When Lucas gets up on Friday, he is surprised that he doesn't get a message from Eliott. All week long, he had a message waiting for him when he wakes up. But why wouldn't it be the other way around this time?

_Hedgehog - 7:02 a.m. / Good morning baby, sleep well?_

It's when he arrives at school and notices that Eliott isn't there that he realizes that Eliott didn't answer him either. 

So he takes it upon himself to send a second message to Eliott but doesn't ask Yann any questions. 

He spends the morning watching his phone, thinking that everything is fine but he doesn't believe it. A hunch goes up inside him. Something's not right. Everything was going too well. Everything was too good to last. 

He checks his cell phone for the hundredth time, pushing his lunch tray towards the center of the table while the girls talk about a party this weekend. Lucas doesn't start listening to the conversation until he hears the name of the boy who haunts his thoughts.

''Yeah, she's right'' continues Daphne, looking at Yann ''Eliott should come with us. He would meet people. And then there are a lot of girls hoping he'll be there. Everybody's betting on who's gonna get to go out with, you know."

Yann sighs and scratches his head.

''I know. But he can't make it this week-end. He's gone."

Lucas is startled and looks at his best friend, frowning in spite of himself.

"For long time?" asks Basile.

''No, he's gone to see his girlfriend for the weekend. He should be back on Monday or Tuesday maybe."

Lucas feels a huge lump going up his throat.

"Wait," stop Basile, "Does he have a girlfriend? In Lyon?"

Yann nods his head down towards his plate.

''Yeah. Lucille. It's quite serious, they've been together for a while. Like four years."

Lucas looks at his cell phone and it lights up. 

_Racoon - 12:12 / Sorry, baby, I'm sick. I'm gonna spend the weekend in bed, but I should be better by monday or tuesday. Don't worry about it._

Lucas is feeling his breathing getting faster and anger rising. 

''Are you okay Lulu?'' asks Yann. 

Lucas must be looking really bad. He turns off his phone and sighs.

''Yeah, it's my dad. I'll fix it. Don't worry about it."

Lucas gets up, doesn't even bother to clear his tray and heads for an empty corner of the yard.

_Hedgehog- 12:21 / Yann told me everything, Eliott. I can't believe it. Tell me it's not true. I trusted you._

_Racoon- 12:23 / I'm sorry, Lucas, It's true. But It doesn't change the way I feel about you._

Lucas is wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

_Hedgehog- 12:25 / It changes everything for me, Eliott. I can't do this._

_Hedgehog- 12:26 AM / It's over._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you hear Lucas' heart break? Me too...I'm sorry...


	5. Truths

Lucas slumps in a bus seat. He doesn't have the strength to walk home. He's looking at his phone, which keeps vibrating. And he actually has two different conversations on hold. He already opens the gang's conversation. 

Baz- 12:35/ Lucas where are you?

Yann - 12:37/ How are you, lulu? Do you need help with your dad?

Baz- 12:36 / Lucas I'm really fucking worried.

Tuturo - 12:36 / Lucas, we're really worried.

Yann - 12:37 / Come on, bro, where are you?

  
And he closes without answering to look at Basile's conversation.

Baz - 12:37 / If you don't answer, I'll call the cops. Or I'll tell Yann everything!

Lucas - 12:40 / I'm fine. My stomach hurts, I'm going home. See you on Monday. 

Baz- 12h41/ Can I come?

Lucas- 12h43/ No Baz, go to class! Just tell the guys I'm sick. 

Lucas goes through the door of the apartment and throws his shoes in the hall before going to his room. He hears Mika calling him and asking him if he is okay but he slams the door and slams his back against it without answering. He can't answer.

He picks up his phone and looks at Eliott's last message. That's right. He says so himself. It's all true. He hears Yann's words again. _Lucille. 4 years old. Girlfriend._

Lucas feels his breathing accelerating and he closes his eyes to calm down. But the tears are flowing more and more. And his breathing gets laboured. He thinks back to his last panic attack. How the dubstep helped him. And his breathing gets even more labored. He can't. He can't think about Eliott anymore. It hurts too much. 

He opens his eyes and looks at his room. Everything reminds him of his time with Eliott. The drawings he pinned above his desk, the night table where Eliott bumped into while they cuddled, the windowsill where Eliott sat down to draw. The tears are blurring his vision and that's good. He doesn't want to see. He just wants it all to end. For the pain to go away. He's lonely. He's always alone. He's always been alone. Everybody always leaves him eventually. 

He just can't do that anymore. He can't breathe. He's collapsing on his bed in a mixture of tears and sobs and shortness of breath. He just wants to disappear. 

He feels two arms around his waist forcing him to sit down and he doesn't even have the strength to fight back. He finds himself with his back against a torso, two arms around his chest, squeezing him as hard as they can. 

''There are three things that can't stay hidden for long.''

Lucas opens his mouth and a sound, half-sanguish, half-laughter, comes out of his body. No, he can't be serious right now, can he? Most people panic in the face of an anxiety attack and yet the arms holding him are perfectly safe and Mika's voice is really calm.

''Come on, Kitten. There are three things that can't stay hidden for long."

He's fucking serious. And Lucas has to think. Mika forced him to watch all six seasons of Teenwolf last summer because he was too scared to watch it alone but he wanted to finish the show.

''Come on. With me, Kitten. There are three things that can't stay hidden for long."

''The sun. The moon. The Truth. "

Lucas lets out a big sob while Mika tightens his grip a little more.

"Again."

Lucas shakes his head, but Mika gives him a shoulder slap behind his back to force him to talk. Then he forces himself to calm his breathing so he can talk again.

''The sun. The moon. The truth."

"Again."

Lucas catches his breath and speaks softly.

"The sun. The moon. The Truth.''

"That's good, Kitten. Again."

"Fuck Mika. I'm not a fucking werewolf."

And Lucas realizes that he's breathing pretty good. Finally it worked. He turns around to look at his roommate. Mika nods his head and Lucas huddles up a little more and falls asleep exhausted. 

When he wakes up, it's dark. Lucas is surprised to see Mika lying on his bed and then it all comes back to him. And the pain comes right back. He takes a deep breath as he dries his tears. He just can't start cracking again.

''Kitten? Talk to me. Do you need to see a doctor?"

Lucas is shaking his head. 

''Okay. Tell me how to help you. Tell me what's going on, please."

A sob comes out of Lucas' chest before he can talk and he's in Mika's arms.

''It's okay, kitten. I'm here, I'm right here. You're not alone, you know. Your friends are here to see you. You're not alone anymore."

And that doesn't even make Lucas feel any better. He's never felt more alone than he does right now.

The apartment doorbell rings at 9:00 on Saturdays. But Lucas doesn't want to see his friends, and luckily Mika doesn't force him. Mika makes him his favorite lunch but Lucas doesn't even get out of bed. 

How could he eat when his heart is totally broken? He feels so sorry for himself. He blames himself for being such a jerk. It was clearly too good to be true. Of course he was just a hobby to Eliott. He made it clear he didn't like being alone. Lucas was just there as a backup, waiting for him to find his girlfriend. 

And now he feels trapped. How's he gonna be able to look at him again? How's he gonna go to Yann's when he's there? How's he gonna face him after all this? How's he gonna go back to his old life when he's completely broken it up and he's still gonna be there? He'll still be a part of Yann's life and Lucas doesn't know how he's gonna handle that.

He thinks about Eliott who must be in this Lucille's bed and he feels a huge ball filling his chest. But it's not like he felt yesterday. It's something he hasn't felt in a really long time. Not since his father left : Anger. 

Lucas thinks back on everything they said to each other. Everything he told Eliott that he never told anyone. He's really angry at himself, but he's also angry at Eliott. He gave him all his trust and Eliott just trampled on it.

Eliott had warned her that he would always go back to her. Lucas can feel his breathing accelerating. But not like yesterday. Now he feels the anger rising inside him. He wants to break Eliott. He wants him to suffer as much as Lucas is suffering. And Lucas knows exactly what will make Eliott suffer : That Yann hates him even more. 

So Lucas puts on his shoes and goes out without taking the time to take his coat. He slams the door, on the voice of Mika who calls him but he doesn't turn around. He almost runs to Yann's place. It's already 6pm, so Lucas doesn't try to go through the window. He knocks and luckily Yann opens it for him.

"Lucas? What are you doing here? Are you okay?"

Yann looks really worried and Lucas can't help but think he must look like shit.

''I need to talk to you. It's really important. It's about Eliott."

Lucas sees Remi running towards the front door. He's never seen him so worried. Lucas must really look awful.

''Do you know where he is? He's been missing since noon."

Lucas is frowning with incomprehension. 

''What? He's in Lyon, isn't he?"

Remi runs his hand through his hair and Lucas understands he's worried about his son, not the horrible look on Lucas' face.

''What? Why would he be there? Did he tell you?"

Lucas shakes his head and points at Yann.

"No. Yann told us. That he'd gone to Lyon to see his girlfriend.''

Yann shakes his head looking at his father.

"The girls wanted to invite him to a party. I didn't want to tell the truth so I made it up. And I thought of Lucille, even though I know they're not together anymore."

Lucas is feeling pale. He can't even look his best friend in the eye because his vision is so blurry with anger. And maybe a few tears, too.

''Was that a lie? Why? Why did you say that?"

Yann looks surprised by his harsh tone.

''Because I didn't want to tell everyone he was bipolar. Because he is, Lucas. And I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want to say that he was just too sick to get out of bed and that he's capable of staying that way for days on end."

Lucas felt all the anger he'd built up against Eliott move on to Yann and he wanted to kill his best friend. He grabs Yann by the shoulders and pushes him until his back hits the wall behind him. And even though Yann is normally stronger than Lucas, between the surprise and the anger that invades his best friend, he hits the wall hard.

''But why did you say he was going to see Lucille? Why didn't he say he was going to see his mother?"

''Because'' Yann hesitates and then looks Lucas in the eye ''because I'm tired of hearing all the girls talking about going out with him. But what difference does it make?''

Lucas lets go of Yann before hurting him and hits the wall next to him.

"Damn it, Yann." Lucas yells "I broke up with him because of you. And he must think it's because he's bipolar. Fuck Yann."

"Are you the hedgehog?"

Lucas suddenly turns to Remi and nods in agreement.

"Fuck, it's my fault. He must hate me. He probably thinks his illness is the reason I broke up with him. That's what he was trying to tell me. Shit. Shit. What if"

"Are you dating Eliott?"

Lucas turns to his best friend, who hasn't moved a muscle, but his eyes are wide open.

"Are you going out with him?" asks Yann again.

"Yes. Yes, we're going out. We didn't want to hurt you so we kept it to ourselves. But now it's too much and"

"No, Lucas" cuts Yann and moans "How could you do this to me? Our friendship means nothing to you? You don't know how much it hurt to see your father crying over his son's nonsense, how much it hurt my mother to see him leave and run to his ex-girlfriend every time Eliott needed him. What about me? Do you think I didn't need my dad sometimes? You think it's easy growing up in the shadow of an older brother? Do you think it was easy for me when he looked me in the eye and told me I was lucky I wasn't a real Cazas? This is exactly why I didn't want him to meet you. Because I couldn't risk losing you if you chose him over me. I didn't want you to give up on me, too. And that's what happens."

"That's enough," cut Remi, "none of this has anything to do with you, Yann. We can love you both. No one is abandoning you. And Eliott loves you like a brother even if you push him away."

"Then why did he refuse to come and live with us?" shouts Yann.

And with Yann's condition and tone, Lucas understands that this is the event that started it all.

"I know you offered him to come and live here, Papa. When he was diagnosed. He preferred to be hospitalized than to come live with us. I heard him, Dad, and he said he would have come if I wasn't here. How do you think I felt hearing that? To feel abandoned a second time? He was my brother. "He was really my brother to me and he refused to come live with me."

Remi moves forward to take Yann, who is now crying, in his arms. 

''Oh my son. He wanted to protect you from himself. He was afraid of hurting you. You were only 10 years old. He preferred to be committed because he was afraid to hurt you in a crisis."

Yann started crying twice as hard before pushing his father away and wiping his eyes.

''We have to find him. He doesn't know anyone here. He has no place to run."

Lucas is startled. 

''I know where he is.''

And he runs away.

And, of course, he was right. Eliott's here. Cowering in a corner below deck, sobbing. Lucas slowly approaches and puts his cell phone, which he used to use as a flashlight, on the floor so he can get up to the level of Eliott.

''I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry. I'm right here."

And Eliott looks up. His face is bathed in tears. He's touching Lucas' cheek like he's making sure he's not in a dream.

''Lucas? No. Leave me alone."

Eliott puts his head down again in his arms.

''No, baby. I'm right here. I'm staying. I'm sorry. I'm always gonna be here. You'll never be alone again."

Eliott looks up.

''We broke up, Lucas. And you were right. I should have told you. I was just being selfish. You have a right to have a normal life. You've been through enough. I just can't put you through that. You were right."

Lucas puts his hand on Eliott's hand and slowly moves closer, watching his reaction.

''No, Eliott. I wasn't talking about that. Yann said you went to see Lucille. I thought you were still with her. That's what I'm talking about. I couldn't imagine having to share you, that's why I broke it off. I'm so sorry. If I'd known you weren't okay, I would have just come to see you. I love you so much, baby. I love you just the way you are.

Eliott hugs lucas crying and lucas holds him as tight as he can. When Eliot's sobs subside, he shifts his face gently so he can look at him.

"Come on, baby, let's go home."

Lucas gets up, pulling Eliott towards him. He picks up his phone off the floor. He's got about a dozen missed calls. 

''Remi? I got him. We're going home."

Lucas hears Remi's relieved breath when he hangs up. He quickly sends a message to Mika to reassure him and turns his phone off.

Remi opens the door of the house before Lucas rings. He wants to take Eliott in his arms but he pushes him away. Remi doesn't even seem surprised. On the other hand, he seems really surprised to see that Lucas can touch Eliott. 

With the light in the living room, Eliott is really scary to see. He is very pale, and his eyes are surrounded by large purple lines. He is shivering and looks totally absent. 

Lucas crosses the living room without looking at Yann and helps Eliott to go up to his room. He closes the door behind them, helps Eliott to undress before putting on dry and warm clothes. He would have preferred him to take a hot shower but Eliott refuses. He watches Eliott slip under his blankets shivering.   
Lucas hesitates but Eliott shifts to the end of the bed and Lucas understands that he is giving him room. So he almost jumps on the bed and lines up Eliott's back against his chest, squeezing him as hard as he can. Eliott falls asleep almost immediately while Lucas can't close his eyes. 

It all happened too fast. He needs every moment of the evening to think about it calmly. So he relives the evening over and over again in his head.

The door opens slowly and Lucas turns around, trying not to wake up Eliott. Remi beckons him to come and Lucas executes himself in spite of him. 

''I made tea, Lucas. We'd like to talk to you."

Lucas nods his head, takes one last look at Eliott and then follows Remi downstairs.

Maria and Yann are sitting around the kitchen table. Lucas sits in front of his friend who doesn't look at him. 

''Lucas. I think we need to talk about all this" Maria says softly, putting her hand on Lucas.

''Talk about what exactly? Talk about the guilt I feel for falling in love with my best friend's brother or the fact that I can't even tell him without losing his friendship? I'm really sorry about all that. But I'm not sorry for being in love with Eliott. It's just the nicest thing that's happened to me in a really long time."

Yann looks up to watch Lucas while Maria coughs.

''I just thought I'd talk about how sick Eliott is. If you're with him, you must know how to help him. How to help him when he's in crisis like he is now. But, yeah, we can talk about that, too."

"I'm sorry," Yann says softly as he looks at Lucas, "I'm really sorry. I...I really thought he never loved me. I hated him for refusing to be my real brother. I felt so abandoned. I'm... I'm such an asshole."

''Yann!'' takes it back, Remi.

''It's not totally false.'' said Maria. ''You could have told us, son, instead of always keeping everything to yourself. I'm fed up with secrets in this family. No more secrets. And no more lies."

"Speaking of lies" adds Yann. "I'm sorry, Lucas. I'm sorry I brought shit between you two. I'm sorry I wasn't a good enough friend for you to have to hide from me that you were in love. I can't imagine you two together, but if you're happy, I'll try to deal with it."

''Me, too,'' Remi says. ''You're like my son, Lucas. You and Eliott? I'm sorry but this is so weird for me. I can't believe this. So when I found you guys in the kitchen in the middle of the night in boxers? Really?"

Lucas smiles as he recalls that memory but shakes his head.

"No. It was just flirting."

''Just flirting in boxers? I'm not surprised you fell into them." Yann laughs.

Maria slapped her son's arm while Yann and Lucas exchanged a knowing look, a smile on their face. 

Lucas takes his cup with a smile on his face. He puts it back almost as quickly because a loud thud comes from Eliott's room.

Lucas is the first to open the door. Eliott is standing in the middle of the room. The blankets on the bed have all fallen to the floor, as well as the lamp. Decidedly, the lamp is really unlucky. 

''Lucas. I need to see Lucas. I have to tell him I'm sorry. I should have told him."

Lucas walks slowly towards him, but Eliott frowns.

''No. I need to see Lucas.''

"I'm here," Lucas says quietly as he approaches.

Eliott shakes his head and crosses his hands in front of him. 

''No. Lucas, my boyfriend.''

Lucas puts his hand on Eliott's forearm.

''Yes. That's the one. The one that makes you watch movies that destroy your brain. The one that wiped your tears away when Newt died. The one you leave adorable drawings of. The one who thinks of you when he plays the piano. The one who you're not allowed to call a guy or a baby. The one who made you fall out of bed scaring yourself."

Eliott shakes his head when he opens his arms."

''I've never been afraid of you, honey. Where have you been?"

Lucas crawls into Eliott's arms.

'' I'm right here, baby. Come to bed."

Eliott lies on the bed while Lucas picks up the blankets from the floor. He turns to close the door and realizes the entire Cazas family is still here.

''I think we'll be OK. I'll take care of it."

Remi nods with one hand through his hair.

''I can see that. I don't believe this. I can never touch him when he's like that. If you need anything, just call."

And Lucas is huddled up with Eliott. 

*****

When he opens his eyes, Eliott is still asleep. He grabs his phone. It's 2pm. Lucas gently kisses Eliott's neck and gets out of bed.

"Stay."

It's barely a whisper. But Lucas hears it.

''I'll be right back, baby. I just got to take a piss. I'm gonna explode. But I'm coming."

Lucas hurries up and comes back to bed next to Eliott. As soon as he gets in the bed, Eliott turns around. He doesn't have his usual smile on his face and still looks tired, but he still looks better than the day before.

''Lucas, you can't stay. You shouldn't be here."

Lucas looks at the room and then he looks at Eliott again.

''I can't think of a better place for me to be.''

Eliott sighs sadly.

''I'm not kidding, Lucas. I'm hurting everybody. I always end up hurting everyone around me. I'm gonna end up hurting you. I'm gonna yell at you. And you're gonna be mad at me. And I don't want that."

"You don't know," Lucas says softly, stroking Eliott's cheek.

''Yes, I do. I'm hurting people around me. I blew up two classrooms at my old high school during a manic episode. I can be dangerous. I was institutionalized from age 13 to 16 because I couldn't control myself and my mother couldn't handle me. And even now with my medication, I can't always manage it. I don't know how lucky I am that I have never physically hurt anyone but myself. But it could happen. I could hurt you."

"I don't care," Lucas said as he leaned over to kiss him. 

But Eliott backs away.

''Not me. I don't want to hurt you."

Lucas puts his hand on Eliott's neck and looks him straight in the eye.

''Pushing me away hurts me a lot more, Eliott. The truth is, I'd rather be with you if I have to deal with all this than without you. So, yeah, maybe you'll scream. Maybe you'll run away. Maybe I'll worry myself to death. Maybe you'll hurt me. But that's too many maybes! On the other hand, I love you, Eliott. I'm sure. So let's drop the maybes and just live in the moment. I'm so good with you that I'm sure all the other Lucas are jealous that they don't live in this universe."

"The other Lucas?" Eliott asks with a raised eyebrow.

''Stop doing that'' laughs Lucas, stroking his eyebrow ''Yes, the other Lucas, in the other universe. You know, I think there's a lot of different universes out there. And if I'm in one situation, the other Lucas are probably in the same situation, but they're different. Maybe in one universe, his friends don't know he's gay; maybe in another universe, Eliott and Yann are not brothers and he's just a new kid in high school and they fall in love; maybe they're wizards; maybe in one universe, they don't meet in high school but in college...maybe they live in the country...all that.''

''But do you think in every universe, we're together?''

''Yeah. A 100%. In every universe. There's not a possible universe where I don't fall in love with you."

Eliott closes his eyes and puts his forehead against Lucas.

"I love you so much, babe."

''Don't call me babe!'' grumbles Lucas.

''Why not? You call me baby!''

Lucas looks up at the sky before he dives back into Eliott's eyes.

''Because you're a baby. You're my baby who's been terrorized by a mechanical spider and zombies ever since.''

And so, Eliott laughs, and it really is the sweetest sound on Earth.

This sweet sound is replaced by the sound of the bedroom door opening, revealing Yann, a loaded tray in his arms.

"Breakfast!"

Lucas sits on the bed with red cheeks and looks at Yann who sits on the bed, putting the tray in the middle.

"Oh Lulu, don't blush like that. Otherwise I'll imagine I interrupted you and I'll feel really uncomfortable."

Lucas looks at his best friend who smiles at him and grabs a croissant while Eliott looks at Yann as if he were dreaming.

''When I was little'' Yann explains to Lucas ''and when Eliott would come or go to his house, every Sunday he'd make us a tray and we'd have breakfast on his bed, watching the cartoons.''

"And you're still alive?" Lucas wonders. "I saw him eat a pineapple-chorizo pizza, a nutella ham sandwich and bacon-cinnamon muffins."

Yann burst out laughing.

''I've seen him mix things up a lot worse than that.''

Eliott grunts and sits in bed.

''If this means you're going to spend your time making fun of my culinary tastes, I'm going to kick you both out of my room.''

''You don't mean a word of it, baby.'' Lucas laughs as he kisses him.

Yann almost falls out of Eliott's bed trying to get up.

''Okay. Sorry. It's just weird. It's really weird. And don't think it's because you guys are guys. It's just too weird."

He's pointing at Eliott and frowning.

"If you hurt my best friend, I should kill you."

And then he points at Lucas with the same look on his face.

"If you hurt my brother, I should kill you."

And then he laughs out loud.

"See, this is so weird!"

Lucas looks up to the sky. It would be too mean to tell Yann that he made them both suffer. And it's not entirely true. If Lucas had been honest with his best friend from the start, there would have been no misunderstandings. And Yann already feels bad enough, you can see it on his face. And in his attempt to make peace with Eliott over breakfast in bed at almost 3pm.

"Why don't you forget the official speech and eat with us instead?"

*****

Lucas isn't surprised that Eliott isn't coming to school on Monday morning. He told him he wasn't feeling up to it yet. 

But Lucas knows that they talked a lot about him and Yann after he left yesterday and that makes him really happy. He watches Yann walk through the school gates with a smile on his face and takes a piece of paper out of his pocket as he walks towards him.

"I'm warning you, I'm not a carrier pigeon!" says Yann but he has such a smile on his face that Lucas knows he's laughing. 

Lucas thanks him and gently opens the paper. He smiles as soon as he sees the hedgehog in the raccoon's arms. They are under the secret bridge and they are visibly happy. A little heart floats above their heads.

_In all the universes I fall in love with you too..._

''We talked a lot together'' said Yann softly as Lucas put the drawing in his bag ''we should have had this conversation long ago. It did me a lot of good."

Lucas nods his head and smiles. 

"He explained, you know. Why he said that." continued Yann.

"Said what?"

"I was lucky I wasn't a real Cazas."

Lucas smiled as he looked at Yann. It's as if a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

''Because that way, you wouldn't be bipolar. Because even if it's not clearly hereditary, the genetic factor is involved."

Yann frowns as he shrugs his shoulders.

''Yeah. He told you, then?"

Lucas shakes his head.

''No. I did my research on bipolarity and I figured it out on my own.''

Yann nods his head and looks Lucas in the eyes again.

''So you really love him, then?''

Lucas nods his head and smiles.

''Yeah'' confirms Yann. ''He also fell for you. He also gets this silly smile when we talk about you."

"I don't have a silly smile", Lucas nods.

"Oh yes you do!" Arthur confirms, joining them. "And it's good to see you, Lulu."

*****

When he arrives in the schoolyard the next day, Lucas joins Basile and Alexia directly, who are talking. Arthur arrives almost at the same time. They are talking about the upcoming math class when he feels two arms wrapped around his waist. He doesn't even have to turn around to know it's Eliott. 

He steps back to snuggle up to his chest while Eliott is kissing him on the neck.

"Hello, Princess."

Lucas smiles as he looks at Basile's gawking mouth.

''Oh Baz, I know you knew,'' laughs Yann. ''No need to pretend. Everything's OK."

"Between knowing and seeing, it's different." Basile points out, shaking his head.

"Are you together?" Daphne asks as she joins the group.

"Yep.''

"But don't you have a girlfriend?" Alexia asks, frowning.

"Uh, no. Just Lucas."

All faces turn to Yann who scratches his head nervously.

"Yeah, maybe I lied. Sorry. But it's all right now, OK. My best friend is dating my brother and I'm cool with that."

"When someone says they're cool, it's not cool," declares serious Imane, before taking a big smile on her lips when she looks at Lucas.

''Great'' says Basile, ''so next time at the laser game, no one will be surprised if he runs into a horny Lucas.''

Lucas moans as he looks at Baz, tightening up a little more in Eliott's arms.

"Wait" stops him, Arthur. "What did you do in the laser game?"

Lucas raises one eyebrow twice and everyone bursts out laughing, except Yann, which makes everyone laugh even harder. Lucas turns to Eliott to show him his one-brow movement, proud of him.

''You see, I'm a very good student.''

''You top the teacher.'' Eliott confirms before kissing him.

''Oh, you're disgusting!'' moans Yann ''Shit, forget everything, go back and do it on the sly.''

''When you say he's top to you, do you mean he's above you?'' asks Basile, obviously very interested. 

Lucas bursts out laughing as he watches Yann hit Basile's arm. 

He kisses Eliott again as the bell rings and then moves towards the entrance of his building, while Basile puts his arm around his shoulders.

''Well? Is that what it meant?"

Lucas takes his arm off his shoulders and looks at him. And, of course, Baz is really serious, too. 

''If you answer his question, I'll start screaming.'' promises Yann.

Basile makes a frustrated groan while Arthur laughs. Lucas stops, turns around to look at his three friends, opens his mouth, closes it and raises a single eyebrow with a smile. 

"We won't know anything then?" asks Basile, visibly disappointed.

''Nothing at all'' confirms Lucas, laughing, as he enters the classroom.

''You look well for a Tuesday morning, Mr. Lallemant, let's hope it lasts.''

Lucas looks at his math teacher and nods.

He, too, is hoping.


	6. Descent

It all started with an unfortunate combination of circumstances. It really started as something insignificant and Lucas didn't realize how big it was until it was too late.

At least, that's exactly what he'll say when Yann asks him to explain. He will look at Eliott's worried face, Yann's angry face and that's exactly what he will say: he really didn't do it on purpose.

And then he'll close his eyes, hoping they'll believe him. 

He'll close his eyes and look back to the beginning. To the first time it's happened. It was two and a half weeks ago. Two fucking weeks. Even Lucas didn't realize it was already over two weeks. And shit.

*****

"You know, I've been thinking about what Basile said."

Lucas raises his head so fast to Eliott, his neck hurts. They're both lying on the Cazas' couch. Yann should be here in an hour to work with Lucas. He and Eliott were supposed to have lunch together but kissing on the couch was more tempting. Lucas couldn't think of a better way to spend his Wednesday afternoon. 

''You're gonna have to be more specific, 'cause Basile says a lot of things. He says a lot of things all the time. And a lot of crap on top of that, so you're starting to scare me."

Eliott giggles and Lucas feels it as his head rests on his chest. He gently strokes his arm and Lucas knows that Eliott does that when he wants to talk about something important. 

''He's mostly talking about you and me and our sex life lately."

Lucas chokes on his own saliva and sits down to catch his breath, while Eliott sits down as well. It's pretty much all Basile ever talks about. Since that Tuesday after the Eliott episode, 5 months ago. 5 months of hearing him making puns, allusions or even asking the question. 

''Hey, honey, it's all good.''

Lucas turns around to face Eliott.

''I know. Sorry you startled me. So, what's up?"

So, Eliott approaches Lucas and wraps his arms around him.

''I just want you to know that I don't care if you tell him. If you tell him how things are going between us. I don't have a problem with that."

Lucas looks Eliott in the eye and he's sure he's got a panicked face.

''Really? What? Are you kidding me? I certainly don't wanna answer his questions. I don't see why I would."

Eliott is laughing as he strokes Lucas' cheek.

''Maybe because he's your friend. It's okay to talk about sex with your friends. It's bad enough you don't talk about it with your best friend because... well..."

''Because he's your brother,'' Lucas continues, rolling his eyes, ''and he certainly doesn't need to know how much you like it when I bite your nipples off...''

"Hey," complains Eliott, hand on his chest. "Don't use that against me."

Lucas laughs and bends over to kiss Eliott.

''Sorry. But no, I don't need to talk about that. I already have Mika invading my privacy, so I don't need Basile too."

And Eliott shrugs his shoulders before he hugs Lucas again.

''Maybe if you answered his question, he'd stop asking it and you'd be relieved not to hear any more hints like _''you're more of a catcher or a pitcher... how did you decide who would do which role? ...do you think you need to get in to stop being a virgin? '...is it important to be tall in your positions because clearly, Lucas is rather"_

''If you finish that sentence, I'll kill you,'' warns Lucas with a frown.

''Hey...I was just imitating Basile. I never said you were little. You're perfect, honey."

Eliott grabs Lucas' lips before he walks away, sitting on the couch.

''Okay. I see your point. But you don't. I know Basile. If I answer one question, he'll ask me a thousand. _Does it hurt?_ Seriously, like we would if it hurt... _Do you use props? Can you do it anywhere?"_

''Anywhere as long as you bring the right stuff...'' laughs Eliott ''Maybe you should just tell him that. Anywhere, any way. Anything that's good for both of us and anything we both want."

Lucas sticks his mouth on Eliott's lips and the kiss soon gets pretty dirty and wet. And Lucas loves it. He puts his hands underneath Eliott's shirt while Eliott takes his off. 

Lucas takes a quick look at the clock in the living room, almost tears Eliott's shirt off and then buries his head in Eliott's neck to suck his skin, leaving some red marks. 

He gently bites her nipples, making Eliott moan, before drawing a line of kisses up to his navel. 

The slamming front door makes them jump and they fall off the couch in a crash.

"Oh, no, guys." Remi moans, looking up at them as they get up, their cheeks red, "not the couch."

Lucas grabs his shirt off the floor and tosses it back just as fast, while he throws his to Eliott.

''Hey, Dad, we didn't expect to see you so soon.''

And Lucas elbows Eliott.

''I left a file in my office. Do I really need to remind you that this is a family place and you should keep your hands to yourself just for your bedroom?''

Now it's clear Lucas's cheeks will never return to their original color. He can't even look at Remi anymore. So he looks up at Eliott, who looks up at the sky.

''Oh dad. No, it's okay. Don't worry about it."

When Lucas hears Remi's laughter, he can't help but look up at him. Just in time to see him raise an eyebrow. 

''Really? Still, I'm a little worried about finding you two half-naked on the family couch. Whether you're sexually active, no problem as long as you're serious. But for God's sake, not on the family couch. Not in the kitchen. Not in the bathroom. Nowhere but in your bedroom."

Lucas looks down on his feet. His cheeks must be totally crimson. He can't stop thinking about the first blowjob he gave on this couch; the first shower they took together...and all the showers they've shared since...the number of times they've made sexe in the kitchen or on the stairs. And he feels the temperature rise even more on his cheeks.

''Oh my God,'' Remi moans.

Lucas looks at him and sees that everyone is looking at him. And apparently you can read him like an open book. 

''Okay. I'm going to pretend I didn't see Lucas thinking about this and I'm not going to jump to the conclusion that you've already gone through my house like the hormonal teenagers you are. I'm just gonna remember that you're in love and not just in heat."

Lucas blinks and watches Remi disappear into his office and then cross the living room again.

"Eliott?"

"Yes, Dad?"

"From now on, it's in your room! Exclusively. Please. And remember, even when you think you're alone, there's always someone in this house."

Eliott takes a big smile and winks at his father.

"Sure, Dad."

Lucas looks at Eliott. He looks so comfortable. So sure of himself. Whereas Lucas would just want to hide in a mouse hole.

"Hey, Dad?"  
  
If Lucas didn't love him so much, he'd be angry with Eliott. Remi was almost gone. But why the hell is he calling him back instead of just letting him go...

"Yeah?"

"Can I get a lock then?"

Remi looks at his son and then at Lucas with his scarlet cheeks.

"Maybe."

Lucas watches Eliott nod and smile and then moves closer to him to give him a hug.

''It's all right, my love.''

He kisses him on both cheeks and Lucas knows they're still red. 

"I swear it's all right."

''Your father just found out we fucked in every room of his house and I'm supposed to be okay?''

''Oh, shit. I hope you didn't do anything in my room!"

Lucas is startled and turns around to find Yann right behind him. He must have come in just as Remi was coming out.

''Of course not. Dad just found us shirtless on the couch and gave us his number. And no hadn't fucked around the whole house, either. Never in your room, never in the parents' room, I promise."

Yann's eyes went straight down to the couch and he grimaced.

"I'm never touching that couch again." he grunts before disappearing into the kitchen. 

''If I were you, I wouldn't touch the kitchen table, either.'' Eliott yells out before kissing Lucas and disappearing down the stairs. 

Lucas watches as Eliott points to the stairs two by two and Yann comes out of the kitchen looking defeated.

''No? Lucas, tell me he's kidding."

Clearly, Lucas' cheeks will not return to their original color today.

"Let's go work in your room instead," Lucas suggests, earning yet another grimace from his best friend. 

''Holy shit, guys! Well, I'll just make myself a sandwich, then. Do you want to eat, Lulu?"

Lucas felt a huge lump in his stomach. He's definitely too embarrassed by re:cent events to eat. 

"No, it's all right, we've already eaten."

And that's... that's how it all started.

*****

When Maria and Remi came home that night, offering Lucas to stay for dinner, he couldn't look his boyfriend's father in the eye so he declined the invitation and went home to lock himself in his room, happy to be alone in the apartment. 

Normally, everything should have gone back to normal. But the next day, during the first class in the morning, they received their white baccalaureate marks. And Lucas cursed the system of the BAC, which consists of passing the French and Philosophy exams in the second year of high school.

Cause he fucked up. Okay, it was just a practice run. But he totally blew it. 8/20 in philosophy... total off-topic. And 14/20 in French when he averaged 18. He can totally do it. He's got to do better. 

He looks at Yann, who looks happy, Arthur giving him a thumbs up and Basile sighing. 

"So how much?" he asks, with Basile sitting right in front of him.

"Pffff 12 in philosophy, 14 in French. What about you? Did you kill it all?"

Lucas nods his head and mumbles "Yeah, it's good" and puts away his copy, shame on him. 

But It's okay. He's supposed to meet Eliott at noon. They'll both talk about it, Eliott will reassure him and everything will be fine. Lucas just needs to work a little harder. 

But nothing's going as planned. When he meets Eliott at noon, he is overexcited because he just got his convocation for the final examens and it reminds him of the bad memories of the BAC he should have had last year but didn't show up because he was having a depressive episode. And he's afraid to go through the same pattern again.

So Lucas is comforting his boyfriend, assuring him that everything's gonna be okay. And to take his mind off it, he takes him to the music room and plays. He spends the whole lunch break playing, while Eliott's face smiles again. 

''I'm sorry, honey. We should've eaten. Wait, I got two granola bars."

They're both sitting on the piano bench. Lucas is gently pushing the bars back, leaving them for Eliott. He knows they're his favorite. 

''Don't worry, I've still got an hour, I'll get something to eat. You have every right to be upset. And I'm here to make you feel better. If I can."

''You totally did it. Thank you," confirms Eliott before he kisses him. 

Their kiss is cut off by the 1:00 p.m. bell. 

"I have to get to class," Eliott reminds me. 

Lucas nods his head and watches him leave the room. He waits a minute, then takes his bag and heads to his English class.

"Why didn't you eat with us, Lulu?" Yann asks with a frown.

Lucas looks at his three friends who are waiting for his answer and shrugs his shoulders.

''Yeah, sorry. I was with Eliott. Sorry."

Basile winks at him and Lucas ignores him by sitting in his place. He spends the whole class thinking about his grades and about Eliott. He doesn't want to cause him any more trouble. So Lucas decides to work twice as hard.

*****

And so he does. For two weeks, he works every night in his room. On the nights when Mika doesn't work, he calls Lucas for dinner three times and ends up bringing him a plate that Lucas barely picks at. 

At lunchtime, he spends his time in the library, trying to read and study as much as he can, or in the music room trying to think about something other than his upcoming exams. His friends get used to not seeing him eating with them anymore. Since Eliott's lunch break is always staggered in relation to Lucas', he tells him that he has already eaten every time Eliott joins him at the biliotheque, his sandwich in hand, and they both work in silence. The truth is that Lucas is far too stressed and too busy working to think about eating. But that's okay, he'll eat later. At least that's what he tells himself every time someone asks him if he wants to eat something.

When Eliott thanks Lucas for coming to the library just to be with him while he works on his exams, Lucas feels the guilt rising inside him. But he doesn't want to worry Eliott, who already has enough on his mind with his own exams, so he nods and kisses him before resuming his reading. 

*****

Lucas is lying on his back. He fixes the ceiling above his bed holding his pillow tightly over his belly. He doesn't even jump when the door opens. Nor does he turn his head because he knows it's Mika.

''Kitten? Are you all right?"

Lucas turns his head and smiles at him. Of course he's okay. More than okay, in fact. He hasn't been this happy in a long time.

''Great. Why?"

Mika sits quietly on Lucas' bed and seems to weigh his words. And Lucas doesn't see why Mika would be nervous about talking to him. Unless it's to tell him that he doesn't want him in the roommate anymore.

''Do you want me to get out of here?''

Mika is startled and frowning.

''What? No, kitten. Of course you don't. You belong here as long as you want."

Lucas lets out a little sigh and starts smiling again.

"Can we talk without you getting mad?"

Lucas sits on his bed, his pillow still clenched in his arms. He doesn't even know why he keeps the pillow on, but he doesn't see why he would put it down, either.

''If you're afraid you're going to upset me, don't say anything upsetting.''

Mika looks up to the sky and sighs.

''When was the last time you ate?''

Then Lucas thinks. Except, shit, it's not coming back to him. 

''I... I..."

''Exactly, kitten, you don't know. It's Friday. What have you eaten today?"

Lucas puts his head against the head of his bed.

''One coffee, this morning?''

"And why?''

''At noon I went to the school library to finish my homework because I didn't get around to it last night.''

"And yesterday? What about the other days? When was the last time you had a real meal?"

Lucas is frowning.

Yesterday he went to the music room at 12:00 until Eliott finished school at 12:45, and then he spent the time together until Lucas went back to school at 1:00pm.

''Why aren't you eating, Lucas?''

Lucas takes it in the chest. Mika never calls him Lucas. And if he does, that's what's really bad.

He shrugs his shoulders. 

''I'm not doing it on purpose. I didn't pay attention. But anyway, I'm going out tonight with the guys tonight. Laser game and pizza."

''Right away'' says Mika, ''Come and eat.''

Lucas looks at the time and shakes his head.

''Mika, it's 6 o'clock. If I eat now, I won't eat anything with the guys. Come on, I promise. I swear I'm fine. I just forgot a few meals, but it's okay. I'm fine. Really.You're really worrying about nothing."

Mika squints and finally gets up.

"I'm warning you, I'm watching you!"

Lucas nods his head. He watches his roommate close his door and tightens the grip around his pillow before he lies back down on his bed to stare at the ceiling.

Only thirty minutes left before he joins everyone at the laser game. Anyway, he's fine. It's not like last summer. Back then, he was so bad, he had one anxiety attack after another and one sleepless night. But now, right now, he's fine. His friends are with him and he has a wonderful boyfriend.

No, Mika's worried about nothing. He's fine.

*****

''Lucas? Are you okay?"

Lucas turns to Yann frowning.

"Yes, damn. Why does everybody ask me that?"

"Maybe because you look like shit," tries Basile.

Lucas shoots him with his eyes. Then he smiles, points his rifle at Basile and shoots, turning on his vest.

''What? Lucas, that's right." Arthur says, "We've only played one game of laser tag and you look like you're gonna pass out."

Lucas raises his gun and points it at his head then pulls towards his vest.

''Thanks, guys, it's a pleasure. Does anyone else think I'm ugly?" Lucas asks, pointing his gun at them.

''Well, I think you've lost weight'' admits Imane. ''You look pale in fact.''

All eyes turn to Lucas who raises his gun to Imane. But he lowered it without firing.

"I'm fine."

And Eliott puts his arm around Lucas' shoulders and kisses his temple. The girls offer to play again and everyone nods and heads back to the counter. Lucas is about to go but Eliott doesn't hold his arm.

''Would you tell me if anything was wrong?''

Lucas nods his head and smiles before he kisses him.

''Cause you know what we said. No more secrets, okay?"

Lucas closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

''Okay. Maybe I'm a little tired. But I'm fine."

''Do you want to go home?''

Lucas shakes his head. No. He totally wants to stay and play. For once he's not thinking about his classes. He's definitely not gonna leave.

So they move on to another game. And if when he runs to stop Emma from shooting him, Lucas feels his head spinning, he doesn't say anything. Because he's fine. There's no reason for him to go wrong. He's fine.

"Let's go home and have a beer," Lucas says.

"I thought we were going for pizza?" Daphne asks.

"Let's just order in and have it delivered to Lucas'," says Basile. 

And that's what they do. And it's perfect, until Basile confronts Lucas again.

''Thank you, Lulu, for inviting us to your house. It's still a much nicer place to chat. Especially intimate things."

Basile raises his eyebrows and winks at Lucas, who shows him his middle finger.

"Leave me alone, Baz. I'm tired of you."

Basile comes up to him with a smile on his face. All their friends are in the living room. Eliott is laughing with Yann, Daphne, while Imane and Arthur are talking to Alexia and Emma is looking for a DVD from Mika's collection.

Lucas goes into the kitchen to get a second beer, also hoping to escape Basile's questions, but of course his friend follows him. So does Arthur, who also comes to get another beer.

''Oh come on, Lulu. I'm just curious. You could answer me anyway. I tell you all about my sex life."

Lucas stares at his friend and laughs as he takes a sip of his beer.

"You don't have a sex life, Baz."

Basile stops, obviously offended, then moves on to Lucas again.

''Hey! If I had a sex life, I'd tell you everything.''

"And I wouldn't want to know!"

"I don't know what's wrong with you, Lucas, but you're not as funny as you used to be." Basile complains. "Actually, no, you're getting as cranky as you used to be with Eliott."

Lucas turns around and frowns.

''Hey'' comes in, Eliott puts his arm around Lucas' waist. ''calm, Baz.''

Lucas pulls himself away from Eliott's arms and frowns as he looks at him. 

''I don't need you to defend me, Eliott. I can take care of my problems, myself."

Lucas speaks louder than he wanted to, and with a tone that was too dry. He can hear the silence that now prevails in the living room. Lucas finished the beer in his hand while watching Yann come into the kitchen. 

"Hey Lulu, are you alright?" Yann asks as he gets up. 

Lucas looked up to the sky.

''Oh Fuck ! Stop it ! I'm OK. You're always asking me that question, you're annoying me. I'm fine.''

Lucas looks at his friends and he sees that none of them believe him. And that pisses him off. Cause shit, he's fine. 

''I wouldn't say Baz is right,'' Arthur says softly, ''but he's not wrong either. You're weird, Lucas. And I'm not talking about you never eating with us in high school again, I get that. But the rest of it."

"Why don't you eat together anymore?"

All faces turn to Eliott. 

''Well, 'cause my best friend would rather eat with his boyfriend than with his friends, but you see, I'm cool with it,'' says Yann.

Eliott frowns before turning to Lucas.

''Wait. What? You're saying you're eating with me? And why are you telling me you've already eaten when we're working together?"

Lucas looks like a deer caught in the headlights. He closes his eyes and shakes his head, but he can feel everyone staring at him. He just needs to get out of here. He takes a step to the side but Eliott's hands immediately grab his wrists and slap him against the fridge behind him. 

''Lucas. You have to let us help you."

"Eliott, let him" comes in. Yann tries to push his brother. "It's okay. It's not a big deal."

Eliott looks at Lucas and seems to notice the change in his boyfriend. He lets go of his wrists and takes a step back.

''How the fuck did I not see that? Imane is right. You've lost weight. Fuck, I didn't see anything. You relapsed, Lucas?"

Lucas shakes his head and closes his eyes and tears come out of his eyes. Eliott is right. He relapsed. And he didn't even realize it. 

''I just want to help you, baby. Let me help you."

Lucas, open your eyes. He's watching Eliott, expecting to find worry, misunderstanding or even anger. But no, Eliott is looking at him tenderly.

''Let me help you,'' Eliott repeats softly. 

Lucas nods his head and takes a step to reach Eliott but feels himself falling before he reaches him. And then it's the black hole. 

*****

''Fuck, it's your fault. How could you not see he was losing weight like that?"

''Are you kidding me? Your best friend hasn't eaten in weeks and you don't even notice? You should have seen he wasn't the way he used to be, you have all the classes in high school in common."

''You're his boyfriend, Eliott. You see him naked several times a week. How could you not see?"

Lucas opens his eyes. He's on his bed. He doesn't even want to know how he got there. He looks at Eliott and Yann arguing and he blames himself. It's all his fault. And he didn't see it coming. 

"I'm sorry."

His voice is hoarse and it hurts his throat but the boys hear it because they stop and push each other to be first at Lucas' bedside. 

''I didn't mean to.''

Lucas sits on his bed, while Eliott sits next to him so he can put his arm around his shoulders. 

''It's okay, Lucas. It's nothing," says Eliott softly. 

''No, it's not nothing'' protested Yann as he stood in front of them. ''What the fuck, Lulu? And why is Eliott talking about a relapse? Why do I feel like we're still in the middle of a big secret?"

Lucas closes his eyes as he snuggles up to Eliott. 

''Leave him alone, Yann. Let him rest."

"He's my best friend," moans Yann. "Don't tell me what to do."

"If you were such a good friend, you'd have figured it out on your own, idiot."

Lucas straightens up immediately and pushes Eliott to free himself from his grip. 

''Don't say that, Eliott.'' Lucas scolds Lucas. 

''I'm sorry, honey. But it's true. How can he be your best friend and think you spent a month's vacation at your dad's house? He should have known it was bullshit and been there for you. He"

''Eliott, no.'' Lucas yells out, ''You can't do this. I lied. It's all my fault. I lied to everyone. You can't blame this on Yann. I don't want you to get angry because of me."

"Where were you?" Yann asked, puzzled. 

Lucas sighs. 

''I was hospitalized because of my anxiety attacks, insomnia and anorexic tendencies. I had to put on weight again so I could go outside and learn how to manage my seizures."

Yann takes a breath as if he needs to digest all that and then nods his head before looking at Eliott.

''And why does Eliott know this and I don't? He didn't even know you last summer."

''Cause it came out, all by itself, when we were fighting over who was gonna win the remote. He said he spent two weeks in a psych ward, and I said I spent a month. And clearly, he didn't do it right because he could have told me he spent three years."

''You'd be too scared if I said that.''

Lucas turns to Eliott and moves a little closer, shaking his head.

''I would never be afraid of you, baby. You're the one of us who's scared.''

And Eliott gently strokes his arm and nods his head.

''And now I'm scared for you, baby. Tell us how we can help you. Tell us why you're doing this to yourself. Tell us what's going on.''

And Lucas come back two and a half weeks ago, when Remi caught them on the couch. He didn't have anything planned after that. It's just an unfortunate set of circumstances. That day, he went through his first day without eating, without meaning to. And the next few days went by and he just forgot to eat properly. He didn't do it on purpose, he didn't even realize it.

He closes his eyes and thinks about his breathing. 

''We're here, honey,'' Eliott says softly, taking him in his arms.

''We're here, bro,'' adds Yann, posing, clinging to the other side of Lucas, ''and you can't go through something like this without us."

Lucas' door opens at the same time. And no one has to turn their head to know it's Mika. All of Lucas' friends are still in the living room and must have told him about the fainting. 

''Just in time for the group hug'' exclaims Mika before joining them on the bed. 

''Holy shit, Lucas!!!'' shouted Basile as he ran in, Lucas' cell phone in his hand. Lucas must have put it in the living room. 

And now it's lit in Basile's hand and he's screaming ''Lucas, I can't believe it!''

Lucas looks at his friend who looks overexcited and then moans.

''Oh, shit, Baz. You're a pain in the ass. So I guess you've seen Eliott's sextos and you're happy because you know we're having sex with no set roles. So yes, we do. Either way. No, it doesn't hurt. In contrast. Yes, we use props sometimes. Yes, we can do it anywhere. And no, we haven't used condoms in two months, and yes, it's definitely better without."

Lucas doesn't miss Basile's wide-eyed eyes, Yann's moaning whimper and Mika's burst of laughter.

''Uh, no... sexting? Seriously? You'll have to give me your mobile for a bit longer. But thanks for this, Lulu."

Basile takes a big smile and seems to have forgotten what he's so excited about.

"Why were you shouting then?" Yann asks, obviously in a hurry to change the subject.

"Your little brother is born!" exclaimed Basile, pointing to Lucas' phone.

 _Hi big brother. I was born at 6.03pm and I can't wait to meet you. I_ _hope you and Eliott come see me soon. I like you already._  
 _And my parents send their love to both of you._

_Leon._


	7. Proud

''Honey, you know he's a two-day-old baby and he probably won't have his eyes open?''

Lucas sticks his head through the closet opening and frowns.

''I want to be dressed nice to meet my brother. Just give me a couple of minutes to make up my mind.''

Eliott sighs as he looks at Lucas' bed with three different outfits on it. 

''We said we'd be there around 3:00, honey. We have to go.''

Lucas looks in the mirror and takes off his shirt. He doesn't miss the wounded look on Eliott's face as he takes his clothes off. Lucas looks at himself more closely in the mirror. It's true that he has lost weight. His ribs are more prominent and his waist is more marked.

''Soon it won't show'' he promises, turning to Eliott before returning to his closet. ''Just from the lasagna Mika made for lunch, I must have gained weight already.'' 

He hesitates, then grabs a shirt. He looks at Eliott and smiles. Eliott's wearing on the black shirt that Lucas loves.

''Why do you pretend my outfit doesn't matter when you're dressed so well?'' asks Lucas, putting on his black and blue shirt.

''I always wear a shirt when I go to see your parents, honey,'' says Eliott. 

And Lucas smiles. That's right, he does. Every time they go to the hospital to see his mom or every dinner with his dad and Olivia, Eliott wears a shirt. 

Lucas looks in the mirror and nods. Eliott's arms come straight up around his waist. 

''You look perfect, Lucas. And I'm not talking about the shirt. But I can't wait to take it off when we get home."

Lucas turns around so he can kiss Eliott and slides his hands underneath his shirt just to touch his belly.

"Me too."

And he's walking towards the door screaming.

''Eliott, hurry up, we're gonna be late."

*****

And that's exactly what they do. In fact, they don't even wait until they're totally home. As Lucas takes his key out of his pocket, Eliott slams he against the front door and kisses him on the neck while unbuttoning his shirt.

''I wanted to do that so bad.'' Eliott whispers, ''You're so beautiful, Lucas. And it's so hot to see you with a baby in your arms. Even if it is the hairiest baby I've ever seen."

Lucas laughs, but Eliott strokes his chest and lets his hand go down to the bump that forms in his jeans. Eliott's other hand grabs the key from Lucas' hands and unlocks the door.

''Now go to your room. I had to hold back so I wouldn't fuck you up against the door."

A moan comes from the living room and Lucas turns to find Yann, Arthur and Basile sitting on the couch and Mika raising his eyebrows.

''uh...we've come to celebrate your meeting the baby'' explains Basile ''we've brought some cakes...but we can leave if you want...''

''What? No. Of course not. You're joking, I hope.''

All eyes turn to Eliott, who runs a hand through his hair.

''What? I'm not gonna apologize for wanting my boyfriend. He's just so...look at him. But I can wait, don't worry. ok, Just watch.''

And Eliott walks through the living room with his phone in his hand, showing Lucas and Leon's pictures with unmatched pride in his eyes. 

Lucas watches him do it and smiles as he buttoning up his shirt. 

*****

''I can't help but think one day you'll want this.'' said Eliott softly as he huddled up to Lucas. 

They are naked in Lucas' bed and Lucas already had his eyes closed, but apparently Eliott doesn't plan to sleep so easily and Lucas knows that when Eliott does that, when he talks after sex, something is bothering him.

''What?"

''A baby.'' Eliott says it with his lips like it's a secret. 

Lucas shrugs his shoulders. He hasn't really thought about it since he found out he's gay. It just seemed too hard, too long. And then there's always the fear of being a bad father and ruining a helpless little boy's life. Because even though his dad is trying to make up for it, clearly because Olivia's asking him, he still created a lot of pain for Lucas. But if Lucas imagines having a child with Eliott, all he can do is smile. Eliott would just be perfect. 

''Yeah, maybe. If you want to."

A little laugh goes off in Lucas' neck.

''You imagine it'll be with me?''

Lucas turns around as fast as he can to look into Eliott's eyes.

"Because do you imagine we won't be together one day?"

Eliott shrugs his shoulders and shakes his head.

''I hope not. But I can't stop thinking you'll get tired of me and my episodes and eventually leave."

Lucas sighs as he strokes Eliott's cheek.

''Only when you're sick of my insomnia, panic attacks and eating disorders."

Eliott gently shakes his head.

''That'll never happen, honey'' Promises Eliott before gently kissing him.

''We're in agreement, then.''

Lucas snuggles up to Eliott, who sighs.

''But how do you see that? How am I supposed to raise a child and still have seizures at the same time? What if I hurt him? What if"

''No what if, baby. Facts. Just facts. I love you, you love me. And if we ever have a baby, we'll love it. And like every parent, we'll do what we can and hopefully do it right. And when we're 17, he'll tell us we're shitty parents, and it'll be normal."

Eliott sighs and snuggles in Lucas' neck.

''You are so amazing. You make me feel like I can do anything."

*****

"I can't do it."

Lucas is watching Eliott huddle under his blanket. 

''Holy shit, Eliott Martin Julien Demaury-Cazas! You're gonna get your cute little ass out of that bed, you're gonna have breakfast with your parents, your brother and your wonderful boyfriend and you're gonna take your exams! Because you're ready and you're going to get your BAC! And you don't have a choice, because I've already planned a wonderful surprise to celebrate the results.''

Eliott smiles out from underneath his duvet.

"A surprise?"

Lucas nods and smiles.

''A surprise just for the two of us. And it's non-refundable, so you're gonna get the fucking exams! Now!"

Eliott gets out of bed grunting, gets dressed and follows Lucas to the kitchen where his parents and Yann are already eating.

"How are you, son?" Remi asks. "How are you feeling?"

Eliott shrugs his shoulders.

''As if I forgot everything and I'm going to fail.''

"That's normal," promises Maria, "but you'll see, it's going to be all right!"

And Eliott looks at Lucas and smiles.

"Anyway, I'll do my best. And then I hear there's a surprise waiting for me, so I must have it."

Lucas nods and serves two cups of coffee.

''Lulu, do you realise you're using sex to get him to pass his exams? Really?" Yann moans, "Don't you ever stop? "Isn't the honeymoon phase supposed to be over?"

Lucas puts his cup on the table and sits frowning at his best friend as his cheeks turn red.

''Who said anything about sex? Yann, you know that"

''No sex? What? I'll go back to bed if that's what it is," says Eliott, pretending to get out of his chair.

Lucas looks at Eliott then Yann and finally Maria and Remi who pinch their lips together not to laugh. 

"Oh, you're both annoying!"

Remi bursts out laughing as he gets up, giving a pat on the back of the head to each of his sons.

''Leave Lucas alone, boys! My God, poor Lucas, you've won the jackpot with those two!"

''Hey'' complained Yann. ''You're the one who raised us. Don't come complaining about us afterwards. You're the only one at fault, dad!"

"It's clear," confirms Eliott. "We're just the worthy sons of our father."

Remi sighs with a smile. Maria looks at him then turns to Lucas. And Lucas knows exactly what she wants to say: "Thank you."

Thank you for bringing peace between the two boys, and for making Remi happy at the same time. And Lucas is happy to see everyone laughing like that, at 6:45 am, just before taking Eliott to school for the beginning of the exams.

''I'm sure you'll be completely happy with Lucas' surprise, big brother. Although I'm sure you're already fulfilled enough."

Lucas chokes on his coffee while watching Remi laughing.

Well, he'd rather not be the Cazas' favorite topic of conversation.

*****

"What if I don't have it?"

Lucas sighs.

"I thought we said we weren't gonna talk about this tonight?"

He takes one look at the alarm clock on Eliott's bedside table. 4:56. The results will be visible on the internet at 8:30.

And for once, it's Eliott who can't sleep. And Lucas understands. So they're both awake. Lucas promised to spend the night with Eliott, but only if they didn't talk about the upcoming results. So he's sitting on Eliott's bed with his back against the headboard, and Eliott is lying with his head on his thighs. 

''I know. But really. I do. What if I don't have it? I'm already 19 years old."

Lucas lets out a chuckle.

''Oh, yeah, you're so old already. I may have to find a younger guy, you know. I'm not sure how long you're gonna keep up the good work."

And Eliott turns around to get down on all fours on Lucas' legs. 

"I don't think you were complaining about my performance earlier,"

Lucas raises an eyebrow laughing.

''You're laughing? I did most of the work."

Eliott laughs and lays his head on Lucas's chest, letting his hands drop to Lucas's ribs. He gently caresses Lucas' waist. He's gained weight and his bones aren't as prominent as they were a few weeks ago. Eliott smiles and puts his hands on Lucas' ribs again, letting out a small chuckle. Eliott kisses his chest and rests his head on it.

''I love you so much. ''

Both of Lucas' hands come to rest gently on Eliott's cheek and hair. 

''I love you, too, old man.''

And Eliott laughs and stands up to steal a kiss from Lucas' lips. 

''And I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. Come on, now, lie down, I'll fry your brain, baby."

Lucas grabs Eliott's computer and smiles at the wallpaper. It's one of Eliott's new drawings. 

The hedgehog sits in the arms of the raccoon and holds a tiny monkey. A panda smiles, its paw resting on the raccoon's shoulder.

_Family is what happens when two people fall in love..._

''My little brother's not a monkey,'' Lucas laughs. 

''If'' confirms Eliott ''I'm sorry. He's got hair all over his back and even on his forehead. He's a real little monkey! He's hairier than both of us."

Lucas shakes his head and smiles and starts the movie. 

"Another movie I'm gonna hate?" Eliott asks, huddling up to Lucas. 

''No. Another movie you're gonna love and it's gonna make you lose your mind."

*****

''What the fuck are you guys doing? We can't wait any longer. Daddy's gonna go crazy downstairs."

Lucas opens his eyes with a start and closes his mouth. Shit, he was still sleeping with his mouth open. He looks at Eliott sleeping against him and then turns to look at the alarm clock. 8:42.

''What's up, guys? Did you guys watch it? Give me the password, I'll do it if you want."

Eliott opens his eyes with difficulty but smiles as he looks at Lucas. 

''I think we fell asleep, baby.'' Lucas remarks. ''It's time.''

"So?" Yann gets impatient. 

Lucas gets up, puts a t-shirt over his boxers and opens the door for Yann.

"Sorry, we were sleeping."

"What? You're kidding, right? I heard you talking until at least 3am."

''Yeah,'' confirms Lucas. ''We had a film at 4, I think. We must have fallen asleep."

''Fucking hell''.

Lucas turns to Eliott who is sitting on his bed with his computer on his lap.

"What's up?"

''Fucking hell'' repeats Eliott looking at the screen, completely stunned. Even though he knows him, Lucas can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing. He can only say that Eliott is really in shock. 

Yann and Lucas push each other to get on the bed first beside Eliott and start screaming at the same time.

It's a mix of screaming, hugging and it ends with three happy boys jumping into Eliott's room without worrying about the noise they make. 

"What the hell?" Remi yells from downstairs.

Yann jumps down the hallway screaming.

"Eliott got his BAC! With honors!"

Lucas grabs Eliott by the waist and pulls him towards him. 

"I'm so proud of you!" Lucas says, before he hugs him. 

He feels a weight pressing against Eliott's back and steps back to let Remi take his son in his arms. 

''Well done, son. I knew you could do it. We never doubted it, you know."

And Eliott looks at Lucas, raising his eyebrows.

''I know. Thank you, Dad. And sorry for"

"Shhh," Remi cuts it. "Don't spoil such a good time, son. Come on, get dressed and come down, we're going to make a festive breakfast! I'll call Maria and your mother!"

Eliott watches his father leave his room and turns to Lucas to give him a hug.

''What do you think? I'm entitled to my surprise, aren't I?"

Lucas pretends to hesitate, but nods in agreement.

''Absolutely. You're gonna have to start packing, baby. We're leaving in a few hours."

And Eliott steps back to look at Lucas' face.

''And where are we going?''

Lucas raises his eyebrows, heads for his backpack and pulls out car keys and a map of France.

''Let's take a mini road trip for lovers.''

Eliott looks at himself and smiles.

''You don't have a driver's license, my love, and you don't have a car.''

''I don't, but Mika has a car and you have a license, so we're leaving this afternoon. We'll sleep one night in a tree house in Orleans, and tomorrow we'll sleep in a yurt in Montluçon. The next night we'll be at your mother's house where we'll stay for two days and then we'll spend two days around a lake in the Nièvre, in a cabin before we come back here. Everything is booked and normally the car is waiting for us in front of the house.''

Eliott goes to the window and sees Mika's blue car parked next to his father's. 

''I thought you deserved a break from the work you've been doing for the past few months. And since I got great grades, I've earned this, too, so I'm in. Besides, you weren't gonna go alone. So for a week, we're both going to live in our bubble. And we're going to use the time to go back to your mom's house because I know you want to see her, which is normal since we haven't seen her since we went there for spring break. And your friends are throwing a party to celebrate their freshman midterms and your high school graduation at the same time. And I'm really looking forward to seeing them again. So here it is. Surprise."

Eliott looks at his boyfriend standing in the middle of his room in a T-shirt and boxers holding the keys to Mika's car, with a big smile on his face.

"But how do you manage to be so perfect, Lucas Lallemant?" Eliott asks, taking him in his arms again.

''Do you know what they say?'' Lucas whispers in Eliott's ear, ''Love doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be true.''

So Eliott gives him an extra hug. 


	8. Family

The bell barely rings when a huge smile forms on Lucas' face. He loves those Friday nights when his dad needs him. And he never thought he'd feel that way once in his life. But he does. He's really happy to do his dad a favor, like tonight. Usually happens once a month. And if it doesn't, it's Lucas asking his dad to let him come here. Because it really makes him happy.

He stares intently at the door of the class he's interested in, and as usual, the familiar little brown head is the first to appear. 

Leon shows his brother to his teacher who nods her head and runs across the courtyard before throwing herself into his arms. 

''Come on, buddy, let's have a waffle to celebrate the weekend!''

Leon gives a shout of joy as Lucas grabs his schoolbag from his back, before Leon's hand slips into his own. He hops all the way to the waffle house. It's not particularly cold for a month of January, but Lucas likes to be able to settle down in front of his little brother, two waffles and two hot chocolates placed between them on the table. It's a bit their ritual when Leon comes to sleep at his brother's house. Waffles in winter, ice cream in summer. And Leon's smile is enough to make Lucas want to build even more rituals with his little brother.

"So, how was school?"

Léon nods with a big smile, his mouth full of his waffle.

''Yeah. We had to choose what we wanted to do on Mother's Day and Father's Day. So that the teacher could order the materials we'll need..."

Lucas smiles as he takes a sip of hot chocolate and then he keeps his hands around the cup just to warm them up.

'''So Martin, he asked me a question. For you...''

Lucas looks up at his brother. Martin is Leon's best friend and even though he's only 5 years old he still has a question to ask.

''Of course he does...so, what does Martin want to know?''

Leon seems hesitant, takes a sip of his drink and then looks at his brother again.

''He asked me what happens when you have a baby. Who gets the Mother's Day gift?"

Lucas laughed out loud. This Martin always has the killer question. 

''I don't know, man. I guess we'll see when that happens. But tell martin everything's gonna be fine. Well, if you want to be on time, we got to go now."

Leon's eyes fill with joy and he leaps to his feet. That makes Lucas smile. It might almost make him jealous. But no, he's just happy. 

They're talking their way to the building Leon loves. Because on one of the walls there's a huge drawing book. And because a tall brown man with a shiny smile comes out of the building waving his hand in their direction. Right on time.

Leon lets go of Lucas' hand and runs to throw himself into the arms of Eliott, who catches him in flight before giving him a kiss in the hair. 

"Hey, little monkey."

"Hey, big giraffe."

Lucas looks at them smiling and Eliott shortens the distance between them to come and kiss him, Leon still in his arms.

"Hey, my love."

This is Lucas' favorite part of the day: Meeting up with Eliott after their day's work.

''Hi, baby. Good day?"

Eliott nods his head and puts Leon down on the floor. He takes a book out of his bag and hands it to him.

''Here you go, monkey. It's the last book. You've got it in advance, as usual."

Leon looks at the book as if it were a priceless treasure. He does this every time Eliott gives him one of the children's books he illustrates. He opens it right up on the first page to read the dedication. And Lucas wonders how Eliott finds new ideas every time he dedicates a book to his little brother.

''Well? So what do we do?" Eliott asks, stealing another little kiss from Lucas' lips. "You smell like honey waffles, honey."

Leon opens his satchel and pulls out a wrapped waffle he picked out for Eliott and hands it to him with a smile on his face. 

''This month's special is a potato/caramel waffle. I tried it, it's delicious. Come on, now I'm ready to work. Shall we go?"

Lucas looks at the determined look on his little brother's face as he pulls Eliott by the arm towards their apartment and follows them before annoying the little one.

*****

Lucas turns around to see Eliott, leaning against the doorway leading to their living room, smiling. 

''Stop smiling stupidly, Eli'' laughs Leon before putting his fingers on the piano keyboard again. ''You always smile stupidly when we play.'' 

Lucas imitates him, concentrating on the song he's teaching his little brother, but he knows Eliott always looks at them smiling, as if he's watching the most beautiful show on Earth. 

When the song ends, instead of wanting to start over as usual, Leon asks Lucas to play him his favourite song and afterwards, he will play him a song he learned by himself. And Lucas sees all the pride on his little brother's face as he sits on the couch next to Eliott to let Lucas play.

Lucas closes his eyes and he plays _I Love You_. His favourite song, but also Eliott's and Leon's. He gets carried away by the music, as always. But now he doesn't just think of his mother anymore when he plays. He also thinks of Eliott. He thinks of his little brother. He's think of his best friend. He's think of his friends. He's think about his dad and Olivia. All the people around him that he loves. 

He turns around as soon as he finishes the last note to find Eliott and Leon smiling like two idiots. Leon gets up and signals him to push himself off the bench so he can take his place and Lucas executes himself. 

He sits down next to Eliott and doesn't miss the wink that Leon gives to his boyfriend. But he doesn't have time to wonder what those two are up to behind his back when Eliott gets up and sits down to Leon's left. 

Eliott takes out his phone and launches an interactive partition on youtube. And Lucas sits on the edge of the couch. Because he can't believe it. Eliott never wanted to play with him. He wanted to teach him several times but he always said he preferred to watch Lucas play. Yet he tried several times to convince him, but at best, he only succeeded in getting Eliott to have sex to him against the piano.

And then he put his fingers on the keyboard and played at the same time as Leon. And Lucas can't believe it. He's too far away to be able to read the title of the song on Eliott's phone so he concentrates. 

He's already heard it somewhere. But he can't figure out what song it is. And it hits him when they play the chorus. It's _"Marry me"_. And it hits him right in the heart. It hits him so hard that he can hardly breathe. He has to close his eyes to think about his breathing. He has to remember not to get excited. 

But when he reopens his eyes, only Leon is playing and Eliott is standing in front of him with an open box in his hands.

"I'll say will you marry me"

Lucas realizes his mouth is only open when he wants to talk. Eliott walks up to him and gently caresses his cheek with his thumb and Lucas realizes that a tear must have flowed without his permission.

"That's precisely what I plan to do" answers Lucas with a glowing's smile.

Eliott smiles before grabbing Lucas' lips. They both start laughing while kissing and Eliott passes a grey ring to Lucas' ring finger. And Leon closes the keyboard with a shout of joy. 

Lucas nods to Leon and the little guy disappears running into Lucas' room before coming back with a blue box, creating a surprise.

''But''

Lucas takes the box and opens it, visibly happy to create the surprise on Eliott's face..

''I wanted to know if you wanted to marry me, too, baby. I was waiting till next week, actually. You know, the anniversary of our first kiss."

He turns to Leon and smiles.

''And you, you little sneaky... You knew and you didn't say anything?"

Leon shakes his head and laughs.

''No. I promised Eliott I wouldn't tell and I promised you I wouldn't tell. And you told me you should always keep your promises, even if Dad can't always keep his promises. I want to be like you, Lu, so I'm doing it."

Lucas can't stop hugging his little brother with a tear forming in the corner of his eye.

''You were right, buddy. I love you. I'm proud of you, you know."

He turns to Eliott, smiling.

''And you, I love you so much. My future husband."

Eliott comes over to hug the two boys and Lucas passes him the ring that he and his little brother picked out a month before he hugs him.

Eliott smiles in the kiss then moves back to look at Lucas and he reads on his face exactly what he was thinking.

"You're wondering why today"

Lucas is bound to nod. Not that it really matters in the end. He'd say yes to Eliott, no matter what day, no matter what time, no matter where. But a small part of him still wonders, why today?

''Cause six years ago, I fell madly in love with you, honey. Six years ago, you decided my pizza should never exist and then you looked at me. You just stood there gawking, your eyes wide open, not moving... And I fell in love with you. And then you fought over the movie and I knew it was you. I don't need to celebrate the day we kissed, because I've known my heart belongs to you since you first looked at me."

Lucas is squeezing Eliott a little tighter again.

''Someday I hope I find someone as much in love as I am,'' says Leon before going to pick up the phone. ''Well? Shall we order some pizza?"

"Of course, monkey, I promised."

Lucas pulls out his phone and sends a message. He doesn't wait two minutes for a positive answer.

''Okay. But count one more. We're gonna have a guest."

And when the apartment doorbell rings 20 minutes later, Lucas is glad it's not the pizza. 

''So?'' asks Yann breathlessly. "Lucas told me I had to come now, that it was a case of life and death. What's going on?"

Eliott gives Lucas a half-amused, half-severe look.

''Lucas, don't say things like that. Look, he ran. He's out of breath. Sorry, bro. You were just coming out of the gym, I guess."

"Yeah" confirms Yann, catching his breath "as usual. It's Friday. So what's it gonna be? Nothing important? Are you kidding, Lulu?"

"Hey," complains Lucas, "it's a matter of life and death. The answer to that question is gonna be really hard."

Yann looks at him intrigued and signals to Lucas to say more.

''I wonder how you're going to choose between your best friend or your brother?''  
  
Yann frowns as he looks at the two of them.

''What do you mean?"

''We'd both like you to be our best man. So we're giving you the choice."

Lucas sees the moment of fulfillment right in his best friend's face. And it takes less than 10 seconds after that for him to start screaming and almost throwing himself into their arms.

''Are you guys getting married? Oh, my God, finally!"

Yann steps back from the embrace with a deep face and looks up to the sky.

"You know I'd never choose, right? I better be best man for both of you."

The doorbell rings again and Leon goes through the flat to get the pizzas and back into the living room. 

''Yann, you pay. It's your engagement present."

The three boys burst out laughing and Yann did it. 

"Lulu, your brother's really a didacteur with me!" Yann laughed as he sat down at the living room table. 

Lucas watches Eliott and Leon get a slice of pineapple/chorizo/emmental pizza and turns to Yann laughing.

'Your brother destroyed my poor little brother's entire palace, so we're even.''

Eliott's hand just slipped into Lucas' and gently strokes the ring around his finger. Lucas smiles and looks at the drawing of the four of them that Eliott had made after the first meeting with Leon, and which is now hanging in their living room.

_Family is what happens when two people fall in love..._

That is so true.

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me a little comment, I love it !


End file.
